Just anecdote ( jokes , humor , funny sayings )

* * * husband asks his wife:

- Honey, why all the neighbors call you an idiot?
- So would you, General, would be called the general's!

* * *

wife to her husband:

- I was leaving, I was not home 6 weeks!And now I go and what I see?You all do not care, you're in the mouth of water collected, is not you a word to tell me!Not a single kind word after my six-week absence!
- Why?There is a word.
- What?
- Thank you.

* * *

came to visit the couple mother-in-law.Sit everyone at the table, dinner.Above the mother-hanging clock.Mother-in-law to eat and went to wash their hands.Only she was gone, the clock fell off the wall.Husband indignant voice: - "Here they are behind all life!ยป

* * *

Deliveries are preterm, normal, late and unexpected.

Premature birth - a birth in two months before the wedding.
normal childbirth - these are the families two months after the wedding.
Late childbirth - these are the families ten months after the divorce.A
unexpected childbirth - when it gives birth to a

mother-in-law ....

* * *

talk to two co-workers at the end of the working day.One says:

- Oh, I'll come home, perekushu something prepared in haste, wash my dishes, go for a walk with the dog, come and lay down to sleep.And so every day.
- Hey you!To marry you is long overdue!
- So the fact of the matter is that I'm married!

* * *

- Hence, the furniture and all the household things we will share equally without any scandals.You agree?
- Of course.
- And let's agree that we will maintain normal human relationships.If the meet, calmly say hello ...
- sure.
- And in the time of the divorce, we will behave correctly, without any attacks and accusations.Agree?
- I agree.
- Well, well.It remains to decide what day we will assign wedding ...

* * *

- Every time I ask you to buy me a new coat, I always get the same answer!- Angry wife.
- But you and treat with the same request.

* * *

Sarah wails:

- Abraham, how could you break the new chair, as you could damage the new chandelier!No, my heart can not take you that could not be hung up somewhere else?

* * *

- How you took Johnson?
- can not say that is very welcoming.only ashtray was served at the table.