" Husband and wife - one of Satan " ( jokes , funny sayings , jokes )

* * * - Young man, you have already used the two tips, everything, and I among them, tired room waiting for your decision, tell me, finally, "Yes" or "No".
- And you can still call a friend?
- Listen, young man, is not a "Field of Dreams" - a registry office.

* * *

man sitting on the float looks.An hour sitting, the other ... At the third hour of the bathroom comes wife:
- Well, to hell with you!Go on a fishing trip, and then I wash it!

* * *

- I understand, say "female logic", but why drag me through the market, to show the skirt, which she did not like?

* * *

- Honey, I look like a perfect woman?
- What are you!You - more!
- And how?
- Kilogram 50 ...

* * *

- You love me very dear?
- Yes, you did.
- Well, you know, this callousness, I did not expect from you!

* * *

mother - daughter:
- Select the husband should be wisely.That's your dad can fix anything - the car, electricity, plumbing.And the furniture, if broken, mend, too.So, if you find yourself a husband, then you wi

ll never be anything new!

* * *

girl - guy:
- Do you think you can love me?
- I think so.
- So what are you waiting for ?!

* * *

Love - is when a woman has big ears, and a man - Pasta Factory.

* * *

The peasant phone rings:
- Honey, you did not forget that we go to the theater?
- When?
- Today.
- What?
- Large.
- What goes there?
- Ballet.
- A good place?
- first row.
- And the last question - who is calling?

* * *

- Your wife can stop the horse at full gallop?
- When she was without makeup - they themselves stand on end ...

* * *

wife to her husband:
- Honey, what are you dreaming?
- I have a dream, dear, about the sea, the yacht, the sun and you're near ... drowning.

* * *

- He made his wife a pilgrimage to the holy source.He prayed there.
- So what?
- Oh, nothing.No miracle happened.With the same wife and returned.

* * *

Over the years, love to a woman turns into a culinary and household dependency.

* * *

six in the morning.The non-stop flower shop comes to intelligent-looking man with obvious signs of rapidly spent night:
- girl, pick up a bouquet for my wife, please.Prettier.
Then, thinking, adds:
- And softer ...

* * *

Gender: Female
Relationship status: Actively searching
Favorite music: To sang something
Favorite TV Shows: Comedi Club
AboutMe: I do not like the others !!!!

* * *

Wife - husband:
- Do I sound so stupid?
- You know, honey, it's not that simple.My all time overcomes the feeling that you are foolish not seem.

* * *

- Honey, I want to live with you happily!
- Honey, if you will live happily ever after - I will not last long ...

* * *

- Why are you divorcing his wife?
- It is already half a year does not speak with me.
- Do not rush, think about it.Such a wife is not so easy to find.

* * *

Husband sitting at the computer and chopped into shooter.Wife trying to attract the attention of the spouse:
- Well, tell me, why do you these monsters when you have me?

* * *

- I do not want you to briefly sheared!
- Oh, that's how!And you asked for my consent, when getting bald?

* * *

- wife something pouted and did not talk to me.Naive, I have this third marriage, I - champion silences, can safely remain silent all day or two.
- Two days?And more - weak?
- No woman can no longer endure two days of silence kind of a happy man !!