Just anecdote ( jokes , humor , funny sayings )

* * * A friend calls another with the joyful message:

- I left mother-in-law!
- Someone who left?
- wife's mother, say, gone!
- I do not know who ?!
- Spelling: Tiger, Echidna, Pike, Shark!

* * *

husband goes abroad and tells his neighbor:
- How many times my wife will change me, you nailed to the door.

After some time the husband comes and sees on the door three cloves.He comes to a neighbor and says:
- Look, something I did not understand, why so few?

Neighbor:
- What do you mean !!!Already the third door are changing ...

* * *

Husband:
- Honey, do you want, I'll give you a birthday mink coat?
Wife:
- Thank you, I will not!
Husband:
- Well, then maybe red "Jaguar convertible" ?!
Wife:
- No, thank you!
Husband:
- Or maybe you want a diamond necklace?
Wife:
- No, I do not want!
Husband:
- And what do you want then?
Wife:
- Divorce!
Husband:
- I'm sorry, it's too expensive for me!

* * *

daughter asks - Mom, remember that Chinese vase from the porcelain, which is in our f

amily is inherited from generation to generation?
- Of course I remember.What?
- Oh, nothing.Just my generation interrupted this tradition ...

* * *

husband returns from a business trip.Opens the door, and on his neck catches half-dressed wife and yells:

- Come on out of here, quick!Only that was told that somewhere in our house, planted an explosive device!
- Just a moment, dear.I just see if it is not in our closet!

* * *

mother asks her son:

- What will you do while I go shopping?
- I'll play with the nanny or the railway.It depends on that will choose a Pope ...

* * *

Converse two men:

- You know, Petrovich, I love Uryupinsk!I have associated with it the most beautiful memories and the best moments of my life!
- And when were you there last?
- general never was.But there often drives my wife!

* * *

husband going to work and asked his wife:

- You brushed my jacket?
- Yes, dear.
- A pants?
- Of course, dear.
- And the shoes?
- And you, and there has pockets ?!

* * *

mother asks her daughter:

- What are you doing there?
- I am writing a letter a friend.
- But you still do not know how to write!
- Big deal, it still can not read!

* * *

One man tells a friend:

- Can you imagine, yesterday we go with the mother in the park, suddenly out of the bushes and come running out the bullies hitting it!
- What are you?
- Nothing, aside departed:
- Why did not you intervene?
- Well, it's a shame to somehow, three on one.