Just anecdote ( jokes , humor , funny sayings )

* * * father scolds his son:

- Do not learn only the girls but the disco on your mind!

Son somehow tries to defend:
- Oh you, as if he was not so!Father reared:
- Yes, how you talk!None of the skirt do not miss!Who among us has a father, you or me?

Son, with a sigh:
- For both the Pope, both, ..

* * *

wife complains to her husband:

- I already can not cope with our son
- And now he threw that?
- When we came home from school, he asked me what sells this girl painted on the corner in a short skirt?
- Well, it's just a lively interest, innocent curiosity.
- Yes, but an hour later he broke his piggy bank!

* * *

policeman stops the car:

- Comrade driver, why is your passenger seat belts are not tied?
- Do not be afraid, man, this is my mother-in-law, she was quiet now!

* * *

- You know what happens to girls who do not eat your porridge?- Asks the mother baby daughter.
- I know they are mannequins.

* * *

In the hospital the young Pope photographs of their newborn son is on

one side or the other, shot a whole film in one fell swoop.The nurse asks him:

- Is this your first child?
- No, the baby is the third, but the first camera.

* * *

gathered wallpaper perekleit family apartment.The wife says to her husband:

- Go to the bottom of the neighbors, they just made repairs.They have exactly the same apartment

find out how much they buy rolls of wallpaper.

husband went to the neighbors.He asked those say - fifteen rolls.We bought fifteen rolls, plastered, five rolls left.Man meets the neighbors, says can not understand, we have the same apartment, and five rolls left.How so?

A neighbor of him:

- Yes you do not worry, everything is fine: we have then also five rolls left ...

* * *

- Hello!
- Hello!
- Hello!
- Hello!
- How are you?
- Excellent!
- Oh, I think I got the wrong number ...

* * *

A man reads a newspaper: "As a result of shootouts in a restaurant killed a waitress."He turns and says to his wife:

- Boring, probably your mother to sit at home all day.Maybe she get a job?
- What can it get?
- yes anyone, even the waitress ...

* * *

- Granddaughter, what would you like to get a gift?
- birth control pills.
- What are you, granddaughter, why do you want ?!
- Grandma, well, imagine, I had four dolls, which my fifth ?!

* * *

husband running around the maternity hospital.Nervous, she smokes.It is waiting for three hours.Soon his concern grows directly into hysterics.He was tearing his hair out.Here comes the nurse:

- Congratulations, you have a girl.
- Thank God, girl!She will never suffer the way I have just!