"If ... " ( funny sayings , humor , fun )

* * * If military schools teach voice command, then in medical school - therapeutic handwriting.

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If you are not lucky with his wife - remember that there are other women.If you are lucky with his wife - remember that there are other men.

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If you have formed your spare time, it just means that, according to his wife, are you on some matters forgot.

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If after two cold and rainy days become warmer and the sun shines brightly - is likely to come on Monday.

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If things went uphill, check to see if the fate of you in preference plays.

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If a woman is successful, compelling and happy - so she takes revenge on someone!

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If you give a man everything he wants, he immediately realized that he was not yet enough.

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If you were able to bring himself to stop nibbling sunflower seeds, when there was still poltarelki, the heroin addiction for you at all, should be a piece of cake.

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If you have the soul scratching cats, throw them valerian.T

hey will stop and start scratching gently rub.

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If you think that the worst is already can not, then you have problems with imagination!

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If around to see only the good, the better it will change nothing.

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If you make someone good, and in return received ingratitude - so you really do a good

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If a person is a long time not to give protest, he forgets all hisarguments and embeds in silence.

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If Russian foul language, it does not mean that he is dissatisfied with something.

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If marriage is, by definition, can not be a good thing, then, by definition, a divorce - a fraud.

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If in fact there is a secret World Government, then it is of ours, Russian.Painfully stupidly it manages this world!

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If long enough to practice, you can learn how to suffer foolishness at very high speeds.

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If man had wings, they would prevent him to crawl.

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If you are over thirty, and you have absolutely nothing in this life - it means you are an honest and decent man!

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If the Russian people decided to do nothing, it does not stop.

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If you think about it carefully, the two main symbol of Russia, matryoshka and a bottle of vodka, essentially the same thing.You open one, and then - the second, third, fourth ...

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If a person is talented, he is talented in everything.With idiots same situation.

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If not cleaned for a long time rose-colored glasses, the world will look through these gray and dull.