Just anecdote ( jokes , humor , funny sayings )

* * * - Girl, would you like to go to the movies with me?
- I do not want.
- you, please do not think that I have any girl in the movie invite.
- Nothing, I'm also not deny each ...

* * *

evening.Twilight.Candles.He and she.We finished dinner.She told him softly in his ear:

- Well, everything, now you're my ...
- Here's another!Very dear!

* * *

Two old friend, successful businessmen, met by chance at the reception.

- Hi, how are you?
- Yes, frankly, not very much.The fact that my company burned to the ground, and here I am now, and I think took a vacation to go to France on account of one hundred thousand insurance.
- Oh, wow, what a coincidence.But my business was lost during the flood, and I got almost a million insurance.

After a moment of silence, the second bent to the first and said:

- Hey, you made a flood?

* * *

- drink something?
- No thanks, I do not.
- Maybe some tea?
- I do not drink tea.
- Coffee?
- I do not drink coffee.
- whiskey and soda?
- I do not drink soda.

* * *

psychiatrist says to his friend:

- How's your husband?
- Doctor, but I'm not married.
- Yes, it means your husband is still a bachelor.

* * *

- I was bitten by your dog!I demand payment!
- Yes please!I'll hold it now, and you bite!

* * *

met two neighbors:

- Imagine, my daughter tells me anything.I'm desperate!
- Me too.My tells me everything.

* * *

Respond, beautiful stranger!I am bald, fat, stupid.But if I love somebody, I'll start doing exercises and reading books.

* * *

- Darling, let's meet at 5 o'clock
- Well, when are you coming?

* * *

In "Radio products."

- In general, there are TVs with Japanese CRT?
- Yes, in large quantities.
- So where are they?
- Japan.

* * *

ad in the minibus, "Behind the wheel of an experienced driver, this is his tenth taxi."

* * *

sometimes sloths die at the ridiculous reason that their mole eats!

* * *

Our industry began to produce ready-made wallpaper with an adhesive layer to activate which is sufficient to hold his tongue over the surface.

* * *

Citizen Ivanov organized a drunken brawl, came to the police, where and rose to the rank of Major.