" Just anecdote " ( funny sayings , humor , jokes )

* * * man wakes up with a hangover the wild.Staggering, he goes to the kitchen.Open the valve, guzzles ...

- Wife!Get up!Children wake!Try it, what kind of water is delicious!

* * *

Call to construction:

- Foreman Sidorov, you have a pipe in the trench was laid?
- Yes, yesterday.
- Then go to sleep immediately!
- Whatever you say ... "- thought the foreman and curled up in cabins, slept.

* * *

Sunday morning:

- Honey, do you want a cup of coffee in bed?
- With pleasure!
- Well, then bring me and a cup.

* * *

- My husband - a sailor.Eleven months of the year it is in the sea, and only a month on the beach.
- Oh, imagine how you are tormented.
- It's okay, he spends half the vacation parents.

* * *

She and he lived in perfect harmony: the same tastes, those

same ideas, the same desires.Only it took him five years to adapt to this.

* * *

journalist interviews a retired captain:

- So, Captain, remember what you had to go through the worst storm in your life?

Old sea dog, after some thought:

- I think it happened when I spat in the kitchen, had just washed my wife!

* * *

- How to distinguish the fungus from the fruit?
- Try it cook.If you get soup, this mushroom if compote - the berry.

* * *

- And who are you by profession?

- I am the master of black and white accounting!

* * *

- Best Chef - men.And the best cooks - women.

* * *

Symptoms of swine flu include headache, weakness, muscle aches, dizziness, and a desire to nasvinyachitsya.

* * *

Before you say no, you first wring everything possible from YES ...

* * *

adulthood - a time when the number of sores amassed close to the number of years lived.

* * *

Interests: I enjoy photography, but my mother it constantly somewhere to hide.

* * *

- What do you like to drink: vodka or wine?
- Oh, yes, of course!

* * *

salary paid, paid, but not yet paid ...

* * *

- You saw my wife's new hairstyle?
- I noticed a beautiful hairstyle.Have you noticed, I have a whole new wife?

* * *

Doctor:

- Need to drink less!
- Yes, I do not drink.
- And it should be even less.

* * *

- Remember, you're advised to stick on winter window?
- What is now the heat?
- now dark!

* * *

female mind - something is definitely useful

female folly but which enjoys great demand.

* * *

It so happens that a husband and wife - not a Satan, but two.

* * *

Aura drunken men quickly cleared rolling pins.

* * *

Why in Russian language needed "letters" b and b?To distinguish literate from illiterate!

* * *

Ivanov in our country accounted for 80% of all patients with sexually transmitted diseases.This is evidenced by browsing history anonymous surveys Center.

* * *

Owl can turn his head 180 degrees.A once in a lifetime and can be 360.

* * *

in an apartment - a neighbor with a drill, in private homes - with the mower.

* * *

- I want to lose weight!
- Buy pants for weight loss!
- bought without nalazit ...