"It's useless advice " ( Humor , fun , funny aphorisms )

- If your neighbor suddenly bought a gun, you'd better get off the muzykoy.- If you want to count the number of needles in the hedgehog, and he had no time, just sit on it.And then, at home, in a relaxed environment, slowly in the mirror count the number of shots.

- Do not forget that the garden should be watered, weed, fertilize, and the sun was shining.

- You can not look in the mirror when you eat - your happiness proesh.And when you drink - propesh.And in the bathroom mirror is generally better not to hang ...

- Borrow money from pessimists have to - they know in advance that they will not give up.

- Aquarium fish will thank you and cheer up, if instead of the usual fish-feed, get to breakfast pinch - another good instant coffee.

- If nothing else helps, read, finally, user manual.

- glass will be more brilliant, if it even wash the outside.

- screw hammered hammer, holds stronger than the nail, twisted with a screwdriver.

- Nothing decorate your festive table, a squib in the salad.

- If the house came to visit, and a little food, put it on the dining table mirror, and food will be twice as much.

- If your computer is infected with a virus - as soon as possible, reformat your hard drive, not the virus Deliver pleasure to do it.

- To get rid of lice: to blend brick chips and red pepper, then sprinkle with the composition of this contaminated site.Principle: louse flees, accidentally inhales a red pepper, sneezes, beating his head against the brick, and dies.

- ECFI you keep an elephant in the hind leg and he pulled out, it is best to let him go.

- To distinguish real from fake Swiss watches, toss them with all his strength on the concrete floor shop.If these hours, the seller must immediately die of a broken heart.

- If your four-legged darling of slightly chewed your new shoes, then as an educational measure make him eat them until the end.Shoes all the same throw, but the pedagogical effect is difficult to describe in a few words!

- If your computer screen no longer show the image, gently wipe it with a dry cloth.

- If you looked like the photo in his passport - immediately go on vacation!

- If your teeth seem to you is not enough white, stand before a mirror and rub the face with a piece of coal.

- If the husband called you in bed an assumed name - match, you will not regret!

- To get rid of the annoying harassment on the street, to the question: "What are you doing tonight," boldly replied: "I have three to venereal diseases, and then I'm free."

- not acquainted with the men on the street - they have been deceived.If you meet with her husband at Ăšpice - He divorced you probably already cheating.

- Viagra overdose her husband with frequent headaches at the wife.

- Using scissors, glue and a small amount of a diaper can be made three conventional gasket or two with the wings.

- Remember that unattended small children, very quickly become small parents!

- To ass dry and clean - they must be dry and clean!