" Random anecdote "

* * *

disgusting you dog!I threw her bread and she bit my calf.
- She just loves sandwich with caviar.

* * *

One friend tells another:
- You know, life is hard for a smart woman!
Other:
- Yes.And you what?

* * *

There is a boy with dad near school:
- Son, you learn in this school?
- Yes.
- 20 years ago, I also studied here.
- Now I understand that the director had in mind when he said that such an idiot, like me, he was 20 years old at the school did not see.

* * *

Directed by the playwright says:
- I read your piece, but it will not put.I, you know, mate enemy in the theater.
- But there is not in the text of the mat.
- In the text there.Matt will be in the hall.

* * *

husband comes in the morning covered in lipstick, powder, and red hair.Wife:
- Where have you been?
- Do not believe, dear, the whole night with a clown fight.

* * *

In the zoo:
Dad, something very evil gorilla looked at us ...
- Relax, son, this is only the box office.

* * *

at the exit of the ci

nema 99.9% After watching the steep militants of men said that they were "so too can."

* * *

- Honey, you've asked the father of my hand?
- Not yet.
- But you promised ...
- I mean, he was such a good mood that I chose to ask him five thousand loans ...

* * *

man comes to the prosecutor and asked:
-How much should I give for the murder?
- And who killed him?
- While one.His wife's mother want to kill.
- My pile up to grab a year of probation.

* * *

One man asks the other:
- Hey, why am I after drinking in a sobering hit it, and you - home?
- I know the norm ...
- How's that?
- I sit down to drink - I put on the table in front of a portrait of a mother in law.As soon as she starts to like me - everything.Norm!

* * *

Why in the garden you do not have frightened?
- Why?I myself at home all day.

* * *

invoked as a grandfather to the police.
- What are you, Grandpa, do not know what we brew punishable by law?
- And me?I Drove, I drive and I'll drive.
- So we'll put you well.
- So what?Son will drive.
- We'll put her son.
- grandson will drive.
- So we'll put your grandson.
- And by that time, and I'll go.

* * *

- Yesterday I saw on the beach two girls swimmers!Completely naked!
- In this cold ?!Probably the walrus!
- Well, exactly one walrus, and the second is nothing lovely.

* * *

Men's logic:
- So what that ear flaps, padded jacket and boots.But the heat!
Women's logic:
- Big deal - the brains and knees froze.But beautiful!

* * *

lie hungry students in the dorm and dream:
- Ah, now would be meat ...
- And maybe pigs can establish?
- What do you mean: the mud, the stench ...
- Nothing may be accustomed.

* * *

There are two men in that light:
- you died?
- freezing.And how are you?
- From the laughter died.
- How's that?
- I was a lover, the doorbell rang, I was in a panic.Husband.She told him the trash can at the door handed as he walked, I got dressed and left.When I got home, I call, and my wife bucket holds.I understood: broke into the apartment, all the break, and found no one.He sat on the sofa, laughing, laughing, laughing and died.
- Fool!He looked in the fridge would be - would both remain alive.

* * *

pretty woman says her neighbor to testify:
- Could you put on the bold your swimsuit and sunbathe on the site?
- No problem.What for?
- I want my husband still engaged in mending fences.