Well, just an anecdote !( Jokes , funny sayings , jokes )

* * * - Why do not you sleep?
- I have insomnia ... And what are you doing?
- I've got an idle!

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- Honey, I want to disguise the blonde!
- Expensive, but why even exacerbate some ?!

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drank vodka "Embassy" - the ambassador did not, drinking vodka "President" - the president did not, when drank beer "GOAT", something felt ...

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Business guy on the phone: - "We have to carefully go through all the points.And do not just go - to trample on each. "

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in a pet store, a lady with a kilogram earrings: - "Do you have my favorite dog food?»

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There, father and gloomy daughter-teenager -"We have two hamsters in February to buy, boys, here's a check, you take the litter?»

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The pharmacy, a woman of 30:

- Do you have anything from snoring?No?So to me, divorce, or what ?!

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At a stop, the three girls who looked student: - "I have a ticket pulled, and he looks at me, looks like a beast, like I know something!»

* **

In the store, the security

guard, quietly on the radio: - "for the third time comes, no, nothing has been swiped, all turns around and smiles at me.Look, let you have him resemble »

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the bus, drunk guy: -" What are you, a woman, imagine?I curled up to you!I hold bad! »

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sit in the bus in front of the old man, looking out the window, the window-fed runner jogging slips and somehow very juicy flops on the fifth point right into a puddle.The old man - me, philosophically: - "They think that the sport - it's great."

* * *

collected husband and wife mushrooms in the forest.The wife saw the white mushroom and says to her husband:
- Honey, this mushroom is edible?
- As long as you have not prepared - yes!

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conversation daughter with her mother on the phone:
- You know, my today comes too late.He said he would go to the match, "Zenit" with the "locomotive."
- What can you fool me!Yes, he'll just cheating - a camera with a steam locomotive can not play!

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most effective way to become acquainted: - "Girl, you do not know how best to spend my salary?»

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midwife brings young husband triplets:
- Like it?
- like!
- Pick up all the will?
- Yeah, I'll be!
- Well, then hold these, and I bear the rest!

* * *

high season.A call to the travel agency.
- Hello, we would like to relax.
- And how much money do you have?
- Well ... one thousand rubles.
- Relax!

* * *

husband and wife talk.
- How do I bored, nothing to wear, all monotonous, I'm tired, I'm depressed ...
- Honey, I think you need to go somewhere!
- Oh!My dear, do you think - what?
- I think in the eye!

* * *

- you meet ever decent women?
- Rarely, and then only in those moments when they began to explain that it is with them for the first time ...

* * *

Did you know that jogging in the morning, use of safe food and a complete rejectionbad habits can greatly extend your miserable existence?

* * *

- What are you so sad, Mash?- Asked Galya who have come to visit a neighbor.
- Yes, my last night with fishing came with some woman, said it was the little mermaid and hit him on the hook accidentally.
- Well, you did, of course, put?
- of course, and now worried about him.
- Why?
- So then the guy some all green came and said that if he did not return the mermaid, he pooblomaet my peasant horns.
- Well, are you?
- But I'm scared.You know yourself that I have something to break off ...

* * *

Odessa.Humble guy came to the sex therapist and complains that he has just married and he did not work with his young wife.The doctor asks to tell you how he is in bed.The patient said that he was lying on his right side, and nothing happens.The doctor says:
- Well, you lie on your left side.
Patient:
- What a face to my mother?

* * *

Doctor meets his longtime patient.
- Welcome surprisingly good look!As your ulcer?
- Went for a week to her mother!

* * *

At the initiative of Russian parents in children's economic game "Monopoly" added cells "bribe" and "rollback".

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«Dear editors.We live in such a remote place, that the prince does not happen.Before us and the horses do not reach all ... »