"Men and women"

* * *

- Why do not you marry Holmes?
- This creates a lot of problems, Watson.Imagine you sit in after a hard day in a chair, relax, read the newspaper.Suddenly I heard the voice of his wife for the front door, and at the same time for the back door barking sounds of your dog.Who do you let the first house?
- who shouts louder, probably ...
- Letting the dog should be, Watson.She stops barking when will

* * *

- Honey, you're as beautiful as these flowers!
- Oh, really ?!And I thought I was as beautiful as the UNV diamond ring ...
- No, dear, you are as beautiful as these flowers

* * *

- All Men Are goats!
- Yes, dear.Everything.
- You, too?
- I'm the biggest asshole in the world!
- Then why I married you and live with you for so many years?
- And now we gradually moved on to the topic that all women - fools.

* * *

- What in your village called women whose men do not drink?
- Yes, as elsewhere, the widows.

* * *

- Honey, let's take a bank loan for a new car!
- But this is how much money should be taken?Million ..
-?! Million and take!
- And how to pay will be?The same will have to sell a kidney, or even two!
- two and sell.

* * *

- Darling, tell me how much it costs, and I say if you forgiven!

* * *

- Oh, where is the man who will love me for who I am, no matter what I did was ...
- Here I am, I love you!
- Oh, no, you're terrible.

* * *

Women's logic:
- late and did not even apologize!
- Well, I'm sorry, dear.
- Fuck you in Figs with your apology!

* * *

wife crying in front of a mirror:
- I'm such a terrible ... no ... Eyebrow, small eyes ...
loving husband calms her tenderly:
- You've got the most beautiful youthe most beautiful eyes ... your figure - the best figure in the world ...
wife calmed down ...
And behold, a man went away from his wife, suddenly scared screaming, driving with a cat the couch:
- here is another stuffed then lay down!!!!

* * *

- The question is: when my sister get married, someone will have to each other our husbands?
- Brothers.By misfortune.

* * *

By tram:
- Women do not quarrel!Both of you are so beautiful!
- How is it both? !!
- How it both !!!!!!?

* * *

- You're a fool, and jokes you stupid!
- Marry me ...
- Oh, forgive me, please.Are you serious?
- Just kidding, just kidding ...

* * *

Husband:
- Honey, go to bed now without me, we have to work korporativchik - then, behold..I do not know how many to linger ...
Wife:
- Honey, say better - to how much I can firmly count?

* * *

woman complains to her friend:
- a whole week forced her husband to begin repairs in the toilet!
- And what happened?
- On Saturday, he put on it the announcement: "Toilet closed for renovations" - and went to the garage.

* * *

- Agreed to Christina on your offer?
- Yes, but asked to wait a little bit.
- Why?
- She told me: "You'll be the last, whom I marry."

* * *

Look, look, the star falls!Make a wish
- I want you to marry me.
- Oh, look, flew back ...

* * *

married couple walking in the autumn park.
- Yes, dear, my husband says.She
:
- If you are again in the cawing crows say "Yes, dear," I'm offended and leave.

* * *

man said, she recalled, she recalled, she recalled.The man did.