" Laugh ? " ( Funny sayings , humor , fun )

* * * the pharmacy:
- Girl, please give pills.
- Woman, 5 minutes ago I sold 10 packs of you!
- Sorry, but I ate ...

* * *

- My dear, why policeman whistles?
- There wants ...

* * *

- What are you?
- I help people suffering from alcohol addiction.
- Oh!You psychotherapist!
- No.I am a dealer in wine and vodka department.

* * *

- Singles men do not realize what a blessing to be married.
- Married, too, do not understand ...

* * *

- What is natural selection?
- This is when a wife robs man of his salary.

* * *

As soon as you start to live separately from their parents, automatically turns off the AutoComplete feature of the refrigerator.

* * *

stages of growing the average person:
- afraid of films about Freddy Krueger


- laughs at the films about Freddy Krueger


- betrayed nostalgic compunction of movies Freddy Krueger


- agree with FreddieKruger - so that young people and it is necessary, you need to listen to the older!

* * *

If a man eats only lies on th

e couch and watching TV, then it is well with you.

* * *

Every woman should keep in mind that food is much tastier if you cook it rare.

* * *

buyer - seller in the market:
- And what is your cost of a kilogram of potatoes?
- Cost price - it is a commercial secret, and tebestoimost - 60 rubles per kilo.

* * *

Mosquitoes are much more humane than some women!Well, if a mosquito drinks your blood, it is, at least, stop buzzing.

* * *

- What graphologist said after studying your handwriting?
- I Said I was angry and aggressive.
- Well, are you?
- nakostylyat him for lying!

* * *

In the capital, arrested the driver of "Moskvich-412", which set fire to foreign cars from the conviction - "Moscow for Muscovites!ยป

* * *

scandal initiative belonged to her husband, sound design - wife.

* * *

take man as he is, can only recruitment.

* * *

wife wakes up in the morning, goes to the mirror and sees himself for a long time.Then he turns to the sleeping husband and malicious whispers:
- Serves you right!

* * *

The personnel department:
- You have a recommendation from your previous job?
- Yes, I recommend to look for another job.

* * *

woman whose girlfriend has told something in confidence, is facing a painful choice - with whom to share it in the first place?

* * *

unexpectedly erupted wildfire gave orienteering competitions unique entertainment.

* * *

beauty salon manicurist client complains to her marriage:
- All that bad, sick of it!Maybe I've got to file for divorce?
- This is serious, I think you'd better consult with the other manicurist.