Motorists joke ...

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Late night highway.In order not to fall asleep, the driver-trucker turns on the radio.Leading transmission says:
- And now, the transfer for those who do not sleep!
start recording and boring voice:
- once jumped over the fence elephant, two elephant jumped over the fence, three elephant jumped over the fence, four ...

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Goes Dad with his little daughter in a car.Suddenly father accidentally pressed the horn:
- Oh, my daughter, that I accidentally!
- I know, Dad ...
- How do you know?
- Do not you shouted: "Goat, which carries you!ยป

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Woman on drivers' courses:
- Lord, how many different rules!Human life is not enough to break them all!

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significant part of the accident is due to the fact that the driver underestimates the obstacle on the right.Especially one that is near and not close his mouth.

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In Russia, the real prohibition sign is just a concrete block across the road, all the rest - warning: the fare, may have to pay ....

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Also born to fly,I was very straining and even drivers, born to crawl.

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on the exam to receive a driver's license.
- Alas!- Says the instructor.- You do not pass it.
- How could I pass it, if I do not even got under way?
- And how could you start, if you climbed into the back seat?

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Drivers are divided into two categories: "kamikaze" - those who have overtaken you, and "brake" - those who were overtaken by you.

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By filling with a terrible roar flies a training machine.Behind the wheel of a woman:
- Full tank, and soon!
- One minute!But first turn off the motor.
- Yes, I had already turned off.It trainer shakes!

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The Russian cars have 3 door position: "open", "closed" and "not closed".

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And yesterday I right away!You see, they are my 60 km / h, first aid kit, fire extinguisher, safety belts, vehicle inspection, clean rooms, washed the car and pressurized helmet on his head - a spit in the soul!

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- So you see, when I went with my dad in our new car?
- Alone "idiots" and "brainless fools," which climbed all the time under our car.

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conversation between two men:
- How to care for the car?
- You have strange tastes ... But try to begin to give flowers.

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KamAZ - good car, reliable.Our.So I bought - and have no regrets.None.

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Traffic inspector chastises driver:
- Well, how so?Rebuilt through row, exceeded the speed will be doubled!I can understand, "Mercedes", but you !!!You!!!tram driver!

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- This is a call from the workshop for car repairs.Your wife came to repair the machine, but we do not know who will ...
- All clear for the repair, I cry.
- Yes, I do not worry about it.I want to know who will pay for the repair shop?

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man shows in the service station raskurochennye his car.The mechanic looks at her and scratching his head.
Man:
- Well, this thing, and his wife at full speed crashed into a pole.
Mechanic (skeptical):
- And how many times?

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After raising fines for talking on a cell phone drivers stopped talking on the phone.Now they write SMS-ki ...

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tourist group visits the old castle ruins.Looking around, the little boy asks softly Dad:
- This is where my mother learned to drive a car?

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young lady bought a car.She say:
- Wait a minute, miss, we will supply you the candles!
- Oh, thank you, but I hope to get there before dark.

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- imagine how progress stepped ?!
- It's you for what?
- It used to induce rain, shaman beating a tambourine.Now wash the car enough ...

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If a woman has included a left turn, it does not mean that it will go to the right!She can go and chat ...

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- Yesterday driving test flunked, I was told that I pedaltonik!
- How's that?
- Yes, I pedal from the brake pedal is no different!