" Just anecdote ! "

* * *

eyesight is bad, I do not see the money!

* * *

Non-alcoholic beer is not as nasty, if you add to it 100 grams of vodka.

* * *

From innocent children reeked of stale wine.

* * *

men - married Women - take heart!

* * *

- What do you have in the pot on the windowsill?
- This?This living water.
- And what stinks so?
- Yes, long-standing.Probably died.

* * *

drunk five days, there were good reasons - the last Monday of the decade, the last Tuesday of the decade, well, the last Friday of the decade.On the last day, cast down - the end-reasons.And suddenly I realized - is not it the next day - the first Saturday of the new decade!

* * *

- I do not understand!Food prices are rising, communal enraged, inflation is not appeased, and pensioners do not die out.
- Well, my friend!That, and the government does not understand, but decided to continue the experiment.

* * *

Everyone says that alcohol does not solve the problem.One might think that the water or milk them decid

e.

* * *

- Do you also think that a loaded phone weighs more?

* * *

Two fishermen:
- Look, you have the same worm is long gone, the whole hook naked!
- Come on, what is well-fed bite.

* * *

talk to two men:
- Did you know that according to statistics, every second woman cheating on her husband?
- Yes I statistics?I need the names, addresses, phone numbers!

* * *

lady friend says that for the fifth time getting married.The second wonders:
- You're just like a tree - every year a new ring.

* * *

- Is there life after the divorce?
- It depends on how much you have dissolved.

* * *

father says to his son, looking in his diary:
- For such estimates, I'll flog belt!
- right, Dad!And the harder it Lupi, to know how I sta┬Čvit deuce!

* * *

Chapayevites recaptured white stop.When viewed trophies Vasily Ivanovich and Petka found the tank with alcohol.For fighters not drunk, signed "C2H5 (OH)", hoping that the men know little chemistry.The next morning they were all vusmert.Chapaev stir one asks:
- How did you find?
- Yes, just.We were looking for, looking for, suddenly look - something written on the tank, and in brackets - "(OH)".We tried - as if he had!

* * *

The restaurant comes to young people and the waiter orders a bottle of vodka, then calls him and asks to change a bottle of vodka in the bottle of brandy, drank brandy, and goes to the door.Waiter:
- Young man, you do not pay for the brandy!
- So I'll show you for it gave a bottle of vodka.
So you do not pay for the vodka.
- So I'll drink it and do not!

* * *

sunny Saturday afternoon with the little boy dad walk in the park.Son, never ceased moan:
- Daddy I want ice cream, well, Dad buy ice cream!
What instructive father responds.
- I want ice cream, but the money we have with you only for vodka.

* * *

My husband lost his previous sexual energy!
- And how old is he?
- Seventy-five.
- Well, at that age can not demand from him a lot.And when you notice it the first time?
- For the first time last night ... and this morning again.