Laugh ?( Funny sayings humor jokes )

* * * the morning do not want to go to work?Open the "Forbes" magazine and get your name out there.We did not find?Then sawing on work!

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In Siberia annually freezes to 70 exhibitionists.

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hardest after the phrase "do not believe it!" His wife had Stanislavsky.

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- Guys, you know - Pasha blue!
- F-oo-oo-oo, and we had kissed ...

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Alcohol useful - millions of men can not be wrong.

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kindergartener forgotten in the sandbox two Moldovan children.By evening, they built the cottage, sauna and swimming pool.

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Each nevykurennaya cigarette prolongs time to 7 minutes.

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- Vas!And you to me for someone to look after?
- Yes!The village after the cattle ...

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- You know, I've accepted the fact that you are reading my letter.But I do not want you to answer them!

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- is eighteen times in my life.
- And eighty-one even less.

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- Dad, I'm hungry!
- Shame on you, son!I was your age wanted to be an astronaut!

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question in the questionnaire:
- Would you like to change sex?
- Yes, and even wallpaper.

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acquaintance of two people.
- Billy Epson, the inventor.Accuracy and calculation.
- Bob Garwood, warden.Bread and water.

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doctor patient:
- What is your weight?
- now 116 kg, the maximum was 121 kg.
- A minimum?
- 3kg 600g.

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Metro.There is an escalator boy and intensely watching the rubber handrail.
- Has something happened?- Asks duty.
- No.I'm just waiting for my gum appears.

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stops for transport specially designed for our weather, the designers took into account all.In the case of heat they made glass roof.In the case of wind - openings in the walls.In case of frost - iron seat ...

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wonder why not produce food for cats with mice taste?

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There are two vipers.The first asks the second:
- Hey, I'm a poisonous?
- No wonder, because you viper.What?
- Well, everything, then I'm dead.I bit my tongue ...

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Great Hall.On the ceiling hang bats, all as expected, heads down, and one - with his head up.Hanging in the neighborhood were talking mouse:
- Why is she hanging up his head?
- A yoga deals!

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- You do not know Ani phone?
- No.
- Well, at least approximately.

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Chief secretary:
- Look, what are you late for work every day ?!
- But I'm leaving work early ...