In 1024 kilo grams , or programmers in anecdotes from different countries

13 September in the 256th day of the year, programmers informally celebrate their professional holiday.The number of 256 selected people inhale in computer hardware "soul", because it is the number of integers that can be expressed using a single eight-byte, and this is the maximum power of 2, which is less than 365 - the number of days in a year.

Until now, the Russian professional calendar holiday Day of the programmer was not mentioned.But in July this year, the Ministry of Communications and Mass Communications of Russia prepared and submitted to the government a draft presidential decree "On the Day of the programmer."Experts of the Ministry decided not to deviate from tradition and to determine the Day of the programmer on the 256th day of the year - 13 September and if the leap year - 12th September.

The Russian programmers - it's almost mythical characters and some of the most popular heroes of jokes.Most often, the Russians laugh at their isolation from the realities of life and a tendency to

follow the algorithms in life ...

* * *

programmer puts himself on the bedside table in front of two glasses of sleep.A water - in case you want to drink at night.A second empty - in case you do not want.

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Programmistu nuzhno popast on the twelfth floor.He zahodit into the elevator, push knopku "1", then "2" and dolgo bezuspeshno still looking through the eyes of the key "Enter" ...

* * *

son asks his father-programmer:

- Daddy, whythe sun rises in the east?

- you've tested?

- Yes.

- Work?

- Yes.

- Every day work?

- Yes.

- Then, my son, for God's sake, do not touch anything, do not change anything!

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good programmer will never die of hunger - it will eat up everything that was left in the keyboard.

* * *

One programmer tells another: "Can you imagine, yesterday coming back from work a little earlier than usual, and his wife in bed - a strange man's eyes and both clever-clever ... I immediately suspected something was wrong and rushed.to a computer, and they changed the password ... "

* * *

There programmer to non-programmers.

Programmer: - Yesterday, right on the clave asleep.

User: - Do not be!How do feel about Claudia?

Programmer: - Yes way!But I have now all face the boxes.

* * *

programmer Meets Girl.

- Girl, and what is your name?

- Lena.

- A extension?

* * *

to programmers to visit a girl came.In order to somehow remove it from the computer, she says:

- And here yesterday under the windows of the UFO hovered.

What "programmer", without looking up, responds:

- I had to UNIX to put under the "windows" all hangs

* * *

"Honey - said the programmer to his wife - for all that!.you did for me, I decided to immortalize your name, I appropriated your name its new virus. "

* * *

first of September, the first class.The teacher says:

- Children, you have come to the school.Here you need to sit quietly, and if something you want to ask, you need to raise your hand.

programmer son pulls her hand.

- What did you want to ask "

- No, check how the system works

* * *

first-graders, the programmer's son, asked:?

- You know the alphabet

- Yes.?.J, C, Y, K, E, H ...

* * *

DOS-ovsky programmer in the registry office, puzzled asks:

- And what the child's name can be longer than 8 characters

*?* *

programmer programmer:

- Let's say you have 1000 rubles ... Well, to take account of the round in 1024 ...

* * *

beginner programmer thinks that a kilobyte 1000 bytesand finished the programmer thinks that in a kilogram 1024 grams

* * *

in this light, the 10 types of people -. those who understand the binary system, and those who do not understand it.

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As three programmers can arrange business?

- One writes viruses other antivirus programs.

- And the third?

- And the third - the operating systems under which they will work.

* * *

How many programmers is necessary to screw in a light bulb?

- None.This is a hardware problem, programmers do not solve it.

* * *

Bill Gates died and gone to heaven to God, which is offered for his services to him to choose where he wants to - in heaven or hell.Gates went to heaven: there timpani playing, drinking nectar.I went to hell: where wine river, girls ... Bill Gates chose hell.God opens the door and he falls into hell - right in the pot and around devils with pitchforks.

- How so!I've not seen it!- Exclaims Gates.

- So it was a demo version!- Meet him hell.

German jokes:

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engineer, physicist and programmer at Microsoft go in the car, she suddenly stalls.

Engineer: - Most likely, the case of gasoline.

Physicist: - Definitely something wrong with the engine "

Programmer: -. Wait Let's just get out of the car, and then he will sit down - and all will again be well

* * *

.." Howcomes word Windows "

- With Indian meaning:" a white man looking through the glass at the hourglass.

* * *

Windows similar to the air-conditioning: it ceases to work, too, when they open the box.

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last wish programmer - "Another one bit."

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To find out if it is installed on a Windows computer, do not include it - just to see if another inscription on the reset button is visible.

English jokes:

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Once "programmer" bathed in the sea and began to sink.On the beach there were many people, but no one responded to his cry: "F1, F1!".

* * *

guy smokes on the street, and his girlfriend said:

- You see a warning on cigarette packs that smoking is harmful to your health.

To which he responds to it:

- Honey, I'm a programmer.We do not pay attention to the warnings, we pay attention only to the error.

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If all else fails you on the first try, then you are a programmer.

* * *

In programming, all the same as in bed: one mistake - and you have to support the rest of his life.