Anecdotes from the life

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family supper.Father and son nine years of watching television in the living room.Mother with her daughter in the kitchen washing the dishes.Suddenly the living room heard a loud clatter of dishes.Metering, father and son for a while in silence, listening.

- It's Mom broke a plate.

- How do you know?

- Because she does not say anything.

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advertisements.We can serve you:

1. Quickly.

2. Qualitatively.

3. Inexpensive.

Choose any two points!

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husband returned from a business trip.Wife: "Well ...?" Husband: "Honey, you are my best ...!

You like "Wife:" Do not you think that one ... »

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month did not sit behind the wheel, finally sat down on the road ... all yelling, waving arms!.Did you miss, devils ...

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Wife:!

- With the husband we live in perfect harmony, all have wonderful not swear or quarrel.Full idyll.And all because of the fact that I'm only doing what I have written in the horoscope for today.

Husband:

- My wife and I have all normal.Bec

ause she has decided to live strictly according to the horoscope.Subscribe to our newsletter.I once found out about it, hacked her email and began to make horoscope for it himself.

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- Hello, dear, I have two news: good and bad ...

- (hopelessly) Well, start with the good.

- (solemnly) Airbag worked !!! ...

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- What are you on the phone yesterday, I sent?I wish you a good morning would ...

- First, it was 6am.Secondly, I did not send, and politely asked what you want at this hour.And, thirdly, the word "moron" escaped accidentally!

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- In Moscow, who has more: men or women?

- Why do you want?

- I mean, I'm 20 years old and I would like to somehow decide!

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- Honey, let's arrange each other a great weekend?

- Oh!Of course, darling.

- Well, until Monday.

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Jew, before reaching home in a taxi, leaves, silently out of the car and began to rummage through his pockets and muttering under his breath: "Damn, it seems the car dropped the purse ...»

Hearing this,taxi driver presses the gas and unwound.

Jew, watching the taxi sarcastically says, "Rabinovich is not lying, it really works!»

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If a good think about it, the two main symbol of Russia, matryoshka and a bottle of vodka, in essence one and thealso.You open one, and then - the second, third, fourth ...

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Café cute talking two ladies:

- You know, my dear, I would like to marry a man twice my age.

- But this is impossible!No one so much does not live! ..

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Once Little Johnny comes to school all beaten, bruised.Teacher surprise:

- Little Johnny, what happened?

- My dad broke.

- What, Little Johnny?

- Because I bought the jeans, but they were small.

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sit in the room boy and girl, kiss passionately.Suddenly, he quickly takes her in his arms and dragged to the sofa.

- Go after the wedding better.

- Well, you give.And if you will get jealous husband ?!

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- So, son, shazhochek still shazhochek.Well done.Masha, bring faster camera - son with exhaust back.

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progress settle on a product Tolstoy "Anna Karenina."Student nud¬no long and tells about the life of Vronsky.Teacher tired of hearing.

- About the hero of the novel you told enough.Now tell us about the character.

Student animated.

- Heroin - a powerful thing.And why do you ask?

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- Mom, tomorrow parent meeting.

- I will not go.

- Why?

- Yes, I told you this money, son, it is better to buy a shirt!

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If I call you after three o'clock in the morning - do not take the phone, nor any that's not me ... and if I do, it is no longer.

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get up at 7 am to work - the anguish, pain and tears ... Get up at 4 am to travel abroad on vacation ... Yes, no question!