Random anecdote

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all the peasants with the presence of a sense of humor.Walk up to any girl and say, "Woman, you have the most beautiful place is dirty!»

Then watch where it will look.

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conversation on Skype about 3 o'clock in the morning.

- Hello!What are you doing?

- For sausage went.

- Is not too late?

- And I have a clock running refrigerator!

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- Darling, where are you ???

- Honey, I'm in the car: a tram chasing me, I do not know where to go!

- Off the rails and turn on the Navigator.

- not included !!!I had a fight with him!

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Two friends decided to have a drink.One says:

- Come 50 for bravery!

other doubtfully.

- Maybe 100 for stupidity?

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- You can get to know you?

- No.

- Why?

- I'm with you it will be boring, but you do not understand me.

- Why?

- Because I'm already bored, and you already understand.

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Sometimes you look at people, which previously had the sympathy and nevol¬no begin to doubt its adequacy.

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The task of the blonde: "I took you 100 rubles.I went to the store and lost them.I met a friend.I took, her 50 rubles.I bought 2 chocolate at 10. I left 30 rubles.I gave them to you.And it remained to be 70. And friend 50. Total 120. Plus we have 2 chocolates.Total 140!Where 10 rubles ??? »

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queue at the beer stand (in Odessa).Angered by the exclamation:

- Why nedolivaete ?!Angered by the response:

- Because not dilute !!!

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- How's your alcoholic?Again at night the money at the casino and restaurants spending?

- No.I have a serious talk with him, and now he does not drink, does not smoke, do not go to restaurants.Lying quietly currently in intensive care.

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On the outskirts of Paris in a small cafe visitor one after another overthrows glasses with vodka.A neighbor of his, who was standing in front of a lemonade bottle, broke down and said:

- Excuse me, but you know that one in three French due to alcohol abuse suffered liver disease?

- I do not care - I'm Russian.

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After the first glass of vodka all incomprehensible becomes clear.

After the second - all the mystery is no longer a mystery.

After the third - all the mundane becomes miraculous.And the way to the bed is a fascinating journey through the fabulous country, where the floors dybyatsya tsunami doorways compressed to narrow gaps and chairs, like dogs thrown at his feet.

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5-year-old Maxim and his 4-year-old sister Alice eat coleslaw.After the meal, the boy turns to Alice:

- Well, today we have for a snack with you just like goats.

- No - the girl corrects him.- The goat is one.And I - hare.

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man caught a goldfish:

- I want a small factory, a house, a car.

Fish:

- Okay, but on credit or leasing ...

- So, choose: in butter or vegetable.

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strange creature - man.Beats, because he loves.Fight for peace.It works to rest.It kills to live.Drinks poison for health.

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Uzbekistan policeman nothing, earning a day slows grandfather edusche¬go on a donkey.

- So, Father, why be exceeded?

- But how, I can exceed the ass ?!

- Why did you stick him so badly bludgeoned ?!Do not you know that animals are brothers our smaller?Go ahead and ask for forgiveness!

old man comes to ass, stroking it and said:

- Ishak, I'm sorry dear, because I beat you with a stick ... I did not know you had a brother in the traffic police working !!!