Forgotten anecdote

* * *

- Mom, why at the plate so dirty?

- Pope fried eggs.

- Without pans?

* * *

Two women talking:

- I'm talking to my husband last night, when you will go to the store, do not forget to buy milk.

- Knowing your husband, I'm sure, that he forgot the milk.

- Worse.He forgot to go to the store.

* * *

Mermaid sailed to his father:

- Dad, I did a good deed.People tied with a rope an animal and dipped into the water, and I cut the rope - let him live in the wild!

- Well done, my daughter!But most do not.It was not an animal, and a diver ...

* * *

- How to make an X-ray?

- which you, the ordinary?

- And what else is?

- Well, you can with a monkey on his shoulder.And that in the background the sea, palm trees ...

* * *

female student dormitory.Vahtershi:

- Young man, you to whom?

- I do not care, I'm with vodka!

* * *

Fortune Teller programmer:

- I can not understand that you are destined to.

- And you kodirovochku to Cyrillic change ...

* * *

Mother scolds the child:

- You're a pig, the whole mess!Do you know who this pig?

- Yes, mother, pig - is the son of a pig!

* * *

- bought energy-saving light bulb, came home, twist in the chandelier, but it does not burn.

- All right, saves energy.

* * *

- What are complaining about the patient?

- To your health.

- That you're wasting.It is necessary to complain of illness.

* * *

A man comes to the pharmacy, ask:

- Do you have potassium iodide?

- No, only cyanide.

- What's the difference?

- Yes, small, only 2 pennies ...

* * *

There are two friends.One asks the other:

- Well, as a husband?

- Oh, I'm so happy!Since then, both were married, we had never quarreled.At least, the second week was the same!

* * *

- You know why I cry?- Asks the wife of her husband, leaving the department.

- I know, but I do not have that kind of money.

* * *

- What are you reading?

- Magazine "table and a chair."

- About Furniture?

- Pro nutritionists.

* * *

- Tell me something warm and tender!

- Bunny ...

- Malo.

- Flock of birds!

* * *

husband and wife are going to visit.Wife preens and asks:

- I look like a fashion model?

- probably on an identikit ...

* * *

blonde girlfriend says:

- And yesterday I was an ophthalmologist.

- What did he say?

- Told me to teach the alphabet.

* * *

In a store selling carpets, goes blonde.

- Do you know what size you have room?- Asked the seller.

- Of course!Twenty-two slipper long and eighteen wide slippers.I wear a thirty-seventh the size.

* * *

Chief turns to his accountant:

- Listen, you are in my company has more than 10 years and never asked for a raise of salary.What's it going dark you crank here ?!