Anecdote for a good mood

* * *

- Are you satisfied with your bees?

- Very!Honey, however, I have not collected, but they izzhalili all my neighbors.

* * *

husband got up on the table, the light bulb is screwed.Wife:

- Would you even podstelil newspaper.

- Do not worry, I'll get well.

* * *

Wife:

- You said you'd do the cleaning, and he disappeared.

- I have not disappeared - I cleaned!

* * *

conversation between two secretaries:

- terrible invention - a typewriter.

- Why?

- When you do not work, all at once heard!

* * *

- Daughter, Ivan came today to ask for your hand.I agreed.

- Oh, Dad, how could I part with mommy?

- Do not worry, my daughter!I agreed with Ivan, that You take it with you ...

* * *

evening of the guests returned to the husband, wife and a little boy.

- Dad, Dads!Why is the moon so big?

- Huh?Dozing father shudders.- And who knows ...

- And why the stars are so small?

- Star?And who, sonny knows!

- Dad, Dads!And why ...

- Come on, Peter!Give Dad a break!You see

, he was tired!- Enters the mother.

- Nothing!- Is responsible father.- Let asked who was there for him except his father will explain everything ...

* * *

Sit two bum at the dump.First:

- Heard crisis in the country!Second:

- And this is how?

- Well, you have friends oligarchs?

- No.

- are now.

* * *

There are two familiar businessman:

- You as taxes paid?

- Yes, I paid.

- And now you sleep?

- No.

- Why ???

- Yes, here I sit, I explain the tax where I got so much money to pay ...

* * *

Here before, a young man on a foreign car was eligible bachelor.And now - who needs it with a five-year loan.

* * *

woman at the doctor-nutritionist:

- Doctor, I can not lose weight.

- eat less.

- You know, I do not eat anything, just eat up her husband and son.

- Then get yourself a pig.

- What, and eat up her ?!

* * *

policeman asked the boy:

- Tell your father moonshine brews?

- No, not cooking, he drinks it raw.

* * *

- What is the difference between the male from the female logic?

- Men's correct, interesting women.

* * *

Admiral liked to give the most unexpected team.Rising once on the ship, he took off his cap, threw it on the deck and the sailors declared:

- It's a bomb.Your actions?

One young man, without hesitation, kicked on the cap so that it fell into the water.Everyone held their breath, waiting for the reaction of the admiral.He pointed to a floating cap and gave a new team:

- Man Overboard!