" Useful " tips

* * * Leaving children alone in the house, and teach them to answer all calls: "Mom and Dad are busy they are clean and lubricated with a machine gun.".

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glass eye inserted through the peephole, scare away from your apartment of any thief.

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When thugs will break out the door at the same time try to break it with your hand.This puzzle intruders.

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Man, if you finally took to wash the socks, the most important thing is to make it an even number.

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Opening the closet, still better knock first.

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a boiling kettle to whistle loudly if it put someone from home.

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Shoes will be worn for much longer, if you do not buy a new one.

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Your ticket will serve you for a little longer, if you will pass your stop.

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Black shirt with white speck - ideal protection against dandruff!

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Council wives - If on March 8 my husband gave you of home appliances Eldorado, think, who also went to the "second free."

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not oppress the weak, i

f it is stronger than you.

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not understand himself - do not let the other understand.

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inability to lie is not a reason to tell the truth.

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Squash caviar will taste better if you replace it with a black or red.

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vodka should be drunk very cold.Just ice.Then you have a morning hangover will not be shameful, and noble angina, on the basis of which any doctor would have to give the hospital.

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Talk about buying this or that new toy must start directly in the forehead, with the cry: "Buy, buy, buy !!!" It is best to start with some abstract themes.For example: "Dad, your childhood, too, was heavy and joyless?»

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To distinguish real from fake Swiss watches, toss them with all his strength on the concrete floor, the store interior.If these hours, the seller must immediately die of a broken heart.

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Using scissors and a small amount of glue from one diaper can be made three conventional gasket or two with the wings.

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not buy bouillon cubes, you cruelly deceived.In fact, this is not the cubes and parallelepipeds!

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screw hammered hammer, holds stronger than the nail, twisted with a screwdriver.

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Do not forget that the garden should be watered, weeding, fertilizing and the sun is shining!

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cod liver causes liver crash.

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can not look in the mirror when you eat - your happiness proesh.And when you drink - propesh.And in the bathroom mirror is generally better not to hang ...

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not grasp wet hands over bared wires - they can rust.

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Remember that unattended small children very quickly become small parents!

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Aquarium fish will thank you and cheer up, if instead of the usual fish-feed, get to breakfast another good pinch of instant coffee