"And even the jokes ... "

* * *

the table:
- Well, toastmaster, we have chosen, it remains to choose the analyst.
- ???And what will he do?
- He will check whether the A preserver of all ...

* * *

To impress a girl, try to show the size of the purse, without taking it out of his pants ...

* * *

three men sit in the courtyard of apartment buildings.
One says: "I am the wife of a tiger cub calling."
second: "A lion cub calling my wife."
third says, "But my wife calls macho."
And then wife from the balcony of the third man shouted: "Hey, schmuck, as well home !!!┬╗

* * *

woman complains to her friend:
- a whole week forced her husband to begin repairs in the toilet!
- And what happened?
- On Saturday, he put on it the announcement: "Toilet closed for renovations" - and went to the garage.

* * *

Wife:
- With the husband we live in perfect harmony: do not swear, do not quarrel, do not scandal.That's because I'm only doing what I have written in the horoscope for today.
Husband:
- My wife and I have all no

rmal.She decided to live strictly according to the horoscope.Subscribe to daily online newsletter.I hacked into her email and began to make horoscope for it himself ...

* * *

Judge:
- Tell the court why you did not save your wife?
- I did not know that she is drowning.Oral, as always.

* * *

doorbell.Opens man:
- I'm your neighbor from below.I'm tired of your wife screams at night:
- Come on, Nick, still, yes ... It is possible to be quiet during sex?
- You can, but I'm Ivan and I work at night ... - the one responsible.

* * *

- Sosedushka, why do not I get married?- Asks the man-woman neighbor,
- I'm afraid.One came up to me on the street woman obmaterila, scratched face, and then slyly said so:
- Sorry, I thought you were my husband. "

* * *

┬źNow Moscow Metro services are used by 2.5 billion people a year, but the government of Moscow wants to send into the ground even more people."- The second part of the phrase somehow alarmed ...

* * *

- Fima, as you yesterday at dinner Rabinovich?
- What say you?If the soup was as warm as the wine, the wine as old as the goose, and the goose in the same fat as the hostess, the dinner was not to bad.

* * *

If Andrey Malakhov will speak and her head in a bucket of milk in an hour the milk turns into butter.

* * *

the competition crafts from plasticine won boy from Moldova, blind cottage.

* * *

- Anya, hi!How are you?not yet married?
- Yes a marriage?University should be finished.I want to make a career.In front of the whole world of unknown possibilities!
- Do not call?
- Do not call ...

* * *

News of show business: "300 women have suffered at the concert of Dima Bilan.Suffered, suffered, and calmed down. "