Lose Weight Together !

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Want to lose weight?So: you eat whatever you want, in any quantity, at any time, day or night, but on one condition - 10 rubles a day!

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- Doctor, help me - I need to lose weight quickly!

- Here is a new and effective diet - will take blood tests 3 times a day: morning, afternoon and evening.

- But you can not eat anything before blood donation!

- So this is the whole point of dieting!

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Thick patient at the doctor.

Doctor:

- Diet pills drink?

patient:

- Pugh.

- How much?

- How much ... Until naemsya!

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on the beach talking two friends:

- What's the matter, are you so thin?

- I am suffering, I change my husband ...

- So divorce!

- While I can not.I want to lose five kilos.

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quit smoking - recovered on 3 kgs.I start smoking again - she lost 3 kilos, quit smoking again - again, plus 3 kg, once lit - minus 3 kg.Tell me, doctor, that's fine during the day?

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wife on the floor scales:

- Oh, what I'm small!

Husband:

- You mean - plump?

- Not at all, just a little.By the standards of a woman with my weight should be 20 centimeters higher.

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- How much thinner in recent years your wife!

- This is it owes a clever Chinese diet: a month to eat one chicken broth with the help of Chinese chopsticks.

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girl complains to her friend:

- Still a stupid life works.Everything that I like, or immoral, or fattening of it.

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- Worried that fullness?

- Of course!

- If I had not experienced, I would have been even thicker!

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Lead prisoners sentenced to death in the electric chair.A prisoner thick this is not placed on a chair.Give him a reprieve for a month and a task - to lose weight by 30 kilograms a month passes, once again lead this prisoner and try to sit on the electric chair.A prisoner even more better!He is asked:

- Why did not you lost weight, you also told to lose 30 kg ?!

- Yes, motivation is rather weak ...

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Distributor dubious means for weight loss says a complete lady:

- Take two tablets today, and tomorrow, when you wake up, two more.

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very stout lady calls the company for weight loss:

- Tell me, does your company ensure a significant weight loss in the short term?

- Oh, yes, ma'am ...

- The fact that my husband did a wonderful gift for my birthday, but I can not get into it ...

- Madam, we promise that after 2 months youwill be free to wear your new clothes ...

- what does the dress ?!My husband gave me a car!

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wife gets on the scales.Husband grins, looking at the arrow:

- You know what you should be growing to meet your weight?

- Well, what?

- Five and a half meters!

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Armenian Radio asked the question:

- What woman, if she is fat?

- Let hoop twirls.

- And if she does not fit in the hoop?

Armenian radio puzzled pauses, but then interferes with the Turkish Radio:

- Listen, do not spoil a beautiful woman!