Hello , Holiday, New Year's Eve !

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New Year a success, if the January 1, ashamed, but do not remember to whom ...

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the night from December 31 to January 1 destiny opensyou the door to a new life, but at this time it is difficult to get them.

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on 1 January morning.The man gets up, he staggered to the kitchen.He opened the tap, drinks greedily.

- Wife !!!Come on !!Children wake !!Try it, what kind of water is delicious!

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very first state, which comes Santa Claus - is China.Well, to load a sack of gifts.

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January 10 is about peasant showcases wine and liquor department deli sighs and looks, and eyes almost rolling tears.Suitable to him the other:

- You Th, man?Vodka that if not delivered?

- Brought ...

- A Th, there is no money?

- There.

- And what's the deal?

- (suffering) DO NOT WANT !!!

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Soon the US will begin the time discount on the occasion of Christmas and New Year.Soon Russia will begin the time of unrealistic prices on the same occasion.

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New Year's Eve programmers different from the other days of the fact that in the evening on the table next to the unwashed cups appear on the skin of tangerines.

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«Santa Claus in every home!" - Said a drunken fireman turning off the boiler.

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- Glass!How to get .. And the New Year is not noted ...

-?! Vas!Well, you're in a bottle do not climb.You just flip the bottle and vodka itself will result in a glass!

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- How was your New Year?

- That is how it was? !!!

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Sensation!For the first time in the New Year's holiday Santa Claus comes not only with his granddaughter, but also to his wife.Meet!Snow Maiden, Santa Claus and frostbite Baba!

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We have a tradition: every year on December 31 my friends and I go, and on 1 January can no longer ...

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«Dear Santa Claus - this letter is not spam,and a real opportunity to make .... »

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According to mobile operators, including greeting SMS-ok on New Year's by a wide margin in the lead is as follows:" Thank you!And who is »

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knock at the door:?

- Who's there?

- Santa Claus.

- A not lying?

- Age will not see ...

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early morning of January 1 phone call:

- Hello!

- And you hello, my good man ...

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- I'm your favorite New Year's gift under the Christmas tree put!

- She what?

- And she had so far and is looking for - Taiga something big!

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A man wakes up in the morning with a terrible hangover.He asks his wife:

- The new year has passed?

- I passed.

- And what's the date today?

- second of January.

- And the first was?

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Under the new year all coming true!Coming true, even what at other times it is impossible to sell.

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New Year holidays:

- Honey, I have to buy bread!What to buy - red semi-sweet or dry white?

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January 1st.Evening.the phone rings in the apartment.The owner, who recently went to sleep after a stormy New Year celebrations, looking at his watch and picks up the phone and screams into it:

- What an idiot calls to sixteen hours in the morning ?!

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New Year's Eve 75% of men will sit down to bed early!

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on December 31.Optimist:

- The new year will be better than the old one!

Pessimist:

- The new year will be worse than the old one!

Realist:

- Damn, nazhrus again ...

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- Honey, say something nice.

- You are beautiful, like Christmas morning ...

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And most of all I love the New Year for a sense of boundless space, which occurs after you threw the tree.

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Every year on December 31 my friends and I go to the bath.And not because we have such a tradition, but because every time, asking permission to bring his wife to the feast of friends, each of us hears in response to the traditional: "You can all go to the baths!»