" Laugh together? "

* * *

One friend says to another: "I was a girl - a psychic and clairvoyant.But she was gone even before we met. "

* * *

Zheleznodorozhnitsa asks for train running and waving hands man:
- Man, are you on the train late?
- No, you!I expel him from the station!

* * *

conversation between two friends:
- Imagine, yesterday evening I go to the porch, and there - a maniac!He inspected me from head to toe ...
- What a mess!
- Here, too, he said so.He turned and walked away.

* * *

Two friends:
- I have a very respectable husband.And with great dignity!
- Yes, he is a goat.And of the advantages he has only a horn!

* * *

guy with the girl came to fishing.Threw his rod.Five minutes later:
- How much is this red little thing?
- A float, or what?5 rubles, but what?
- Yes, he has just sunk ...

* * *

- Guess riddle: four in one office, the only one of them works.
- I do not know.
- three employees and a fan.

* * *

On Friday, the husband tells his wife:
- Honey, let's arrange ea

ch other a great weekend!
- Oh!Of course, darling!
- Well, then until Monday!

* * *

In English, "Hyde Park" silent sunny day on the bench sits a gentleman, reading the newspaper.Suitable other gentleman and also sits down beside him.Sounds dialog:
- Sir, you got my hat.
- A Are you leaving already?

* * *

husband in the bathroom print photographs.My wife says loudly:
- imagine what kind of pictures, if you need to type in the dark!

* * *

One man predicted that he would die as a result of a dispute.Since that time it has become all the warning, polite, compliant.But one day he fell ill, and it was going to bed medical consultation.Seeing the doctor, the patient whispered:
- That's when a prediction comes true!

* * *

- Sorry, I can not tell you what this year's pass rate at MGIMO?
- 25,000 $

* * *

- What, sir, you have a congregation!They stand in the service of peace and splendidly, and before all hands distilled off mosquitoes.
- I now put fumitoks censer, and therefore do not bite!

* * *

talk to two friends:
- Hey, Lech, would you ever bought a car!
- Why?
- would Rode!
- Hey, Serge, and you would have married eh ...

* * *

guy walking down the street and sees a beautiful girl:
- Girl, you have e-mail?
- No.What?
- It is a pity, because to get to know ...

* * *

- Tell me, women can be trusted?
- Of course!Let believe!

* * *

transmission "100 to one" conducted a survey: "The armed robbers on the roads?"
first place in the ranking took the answer is "striped sticks".

* * *

running through the woods with the rabbit ears tied up to the chin.Towards the bear goes and asks:
- What have you got with your ears?Afraid that hunters get shot?
- to shoot do not get shot, but hear a lot ...

* * *

Ran two dogs to the polling station.Towards third runs:
- Hello!Who do we vote?For Gerasimos or Pavlova?

* * *

Promotion!When buying books, "How easy to stop drinking," "It is easy to give up smoking" and "It is easy to give up sex," pistol with one cartridge as a gift!

* * *

- Dasha, you did not understand me!
- That I did not understand?I perfectly understand everything!You treat me like a dog, bring, bring, bring, bring!
- Dasha, you're wrong!
- What am I mistaken?Now I take a mop!
- Dasha, phew!

* * *

- Honey, what do you give on March 8?Choose what you like - a diamond necklace, a mink coat, a villa on the French Riviera ..
-? Honey, give me only this evening, and my love!
- Cut!- The director has declared.

* * *

- What is the best gift a girl on March 8: a great gift or a lot of little ones?
- Many small!
- Then give her seeds!