" In sober ... " (humor , jokes , fun )

* * * comes home drunk drunk in the board.He walks to the bedroom, and it's dark.It was standing so and says: - "Wife, start swearing, and I'll make it up is not a bed."

* * *

- Do you drink vodka?
- No.
- And what do you then do with it ?!

* * *

- Want a drink?
- Of course ... Why do your drink a peculiar smell?
- I do not know ...
- I'm not poisoned?
- That's what I wanted to know ...

* * *

- What is force majeure?
- drink be?
- No.
- Luxury Vodka, appetizer miracle, and all for free.
- Then I will.
- Here they are, these circumstances.

* * *

Alcohol, of course, has a remote action.For example, you have just bought a bottle of vodka, yet not drunk a single gram, and the mood has improved!

* * *

Vodka does not end when running out of money, and when the end able to run for it.

* * *

At the beginning of the feast caught himself a keen desire to lose the human face ...

* * *

Everything in life is interconnected: live - want to drink, drink - you want to live.

* * *

- Guys, we have a reason to drink?
- Occasion - yes!Drink - no!

* * *

That's what I like to hang, so it's a fact that when you get up in the morning, did not have a headache you about how much you ate and drank yesterday, how much do you weigh now the ... Sheyou just ache!

* * *

- Wow!Why are you such a person puffy, br & gt; - And that we last the whole night fighting evil ...
- Won?
- No, left, will be?

* * *

One man - the other: - "Yes-ah .. Even if my local doctor stopped drinking, maybe this really bad?»

* * *

There are twofriend:
- Wow!Well, how are you?
- Yes, in a creative drinking bout right now ...
- And this is how?
- Well, how-how: drink, and then I make takoooe !!

* * *

Judging by the color of your nose, you have a corkscrew ...

* * *

- Imagine Vaska a recent alcohol poisoned!
- Wow ... And what he drank alcohol poisoning?

* * *

Vodka - the most perfect makeup - and disguised himself, and nice to see a girlfriend ...

* * *

- how much you drank last night?
- 50 grams.
- 50 grams of what?
- The TNT.

* * *

Vodka for Russian - is the same as that of the psychoanalyst for Americans.

* * *

- Bring me, please, a decanter of vodka and something to suit your taste ...
- So write: two decanter of vodka.

* * *

- Waiter!Three bottles of vodka and a salad!
- What salad would you like?
- What a softer ...

* * *

Drink in the pub two men.Comes the third - staggered approaches the counter.The man at the table whispering to his friend: - "Out Lech come ... He - well, just beautiful!We all before him More ... to degrade and degenerate! »