Jokes about everything

* * *

- Who are you?

- Horse.

- A Th here?

- I still have not lying.

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- It's nice to get gifts, but much nicer to give!

- So buy a gift, give yourself and all obaldeesh happiness.

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- See this video about how I spend my day.

- But this is the same photo, where you lie on the couch!

- No!This Video.

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- How many people work in your firm?

- Well, half of the maximum.

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Included with the cap of invisibility required nevonyayki socks.

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- neighbor, beast, always something to hammer drills.

- But once he rests.

- When resting, he sings karaoke.

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When a person in advertising cheerfully gets out of bed, going cheerfully and goes to work at the bottom of the screen should be the inscription: "Do not try this yourself."

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- Well, on the personal front?

- I'm a deserter.

* * *

- Oh, girls, and yesterday I got drunk and passed out.Then he woke up and began to dance on the table ...

- Well, who does not happen!

- Yes, but that's at the heart pathologist proved weak!

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You ask why I drink water from the tap?

Yes for the money that I pay for it in the month, it should cure all diseases and regenerate lost organs.

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- In my opinion, Igor uneven breathing to you, my daughter .....

- Igor - asthmatic, mom ....

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- Ale,where are you ?

- I'm at a birthday party.

- Oh ... And where is it - Bottom birthday ?!

* * *

- Hello!which will be tonight?

- Where there always.The anguish and extreme irritation.

* * *

Oligarchs are discussing a private school:

- Well, whatever the audience?

- You know ... ... there are very different, who arrives on the new Bentley.... And there are those that in last year's Cayenne ....

* * *

- And you run in the morning?

- Yes!Basically the house with "slept" cries!

* * *

- They say that in life the best student, but I have something that is not fully felt.

- Just then it will be even worse ...

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- You all are friends with the head ?!

- Moreover, we sleep together ...

* * *

Thailand shouted:

- Come swim and sunbathe!

Paris shouted:

- Come photographed!

A salary advised:

- Go for mushrooms, dreamer!