Men and women

* * *

Men are divided into goats and sheep.Rams - it is men who are poorly versed in women's psychology.And the goats - this who know all too well.

* * *

Wife - husband:

- Well, I'm wrong, but you can at least ask me for forgiveness?

* * *

wife, sternly:

- What's that?Zanachka?

Husband:

- What nest egg?This stabilization fund!

* * *

- all men - the same!

- Marina - what are you, anatomy textbook bought?

* * *

morning Bob came to the window, looked out and said to his wife:

- It's obvious that today is a beautiful day.

- Well, what of it?

- You once said that leave me one day.

* * *

on silver wedding husband wife sheepishly admits:

- You know, my dear, because our marriage, in fact, a consequence of errors.

- What are you getting at?- Exclaims the wife.

- Yes, imagine.After all, if I whistled to stop a taxi, and you came.

* * *

Every woman is a rebel by nature, and it is only rebels against itself.

* * *

met two friends.

- you know, for the sake of

my wife, I gave up drinking, smoking, playing cards.

- Congratulations.I hope that now she is happy?

- Where there!Every time I open my mouth, she discovers that some say it has nothing!

* * *

Husband and wife quarrel:

- Well, you're an idiot!

- Of course an idiot: I would be married for a general, it would be the general's!

* * *

- Before our wedding, you told me constantly that I am "the sun" for you, and now every night lost in the pub.

- Well, what is this?From the sun - the heat.The heat - thirst.

* * *

Spouses:

- Wan, you would have bought me a flower ...

- Why, Man, you're more like a living?

* * *

husband and wife slows the car.

- What is the cost to get to Gorky Park?

- Stolnik.

- And if a wife?

- Stolnik.

Wife:

- See, I told you that you are not worth anything!

* * *

- And I, behold, married recently.In the frog.So, I hit the ground and it turned into a beautiful princess.

- Blonde?

- Yeah.

- Beautiful?

- Yeah.

- Smart?

- What can I say.Too much hit.

* * *

talk to two friends:

- It would be necessary to obtain a second higher education.

- What, could not get married the first time?

* * *

- always suspected his wife!Today, specially came home two hours early!

- Well, how?Caught?

- You bet!I knew that she, when I'm not putting on my slippers!

* * *

Converse two friends.

- You know, my husband is very old - says one.

- Why do you think so?

- When yesterday we had entered the pub, he first looked at the menu, which serves beer, and then a waitress at his feet.

* * *

How many women or disappoint, it still continues to count for more.

* * *

- And you, though, I was a fairy tale come, huh?

- Uh-huh.

- And from what?

- From good.

- Kicked ?!

* * *

- Honey, I look like a perfect woman?

- No, you are much more!

- Yes?And how?

- Well, 50 kilograms ...

* * *

husband waiting for his wife at the exit of a beauty salon.It turns out the wife.Husband:

- Well, nothing ... well, at least you tried ...

* * *

woman offended by a man in two cases:

1 - When he sees it as only a woman

2- When he sees her as a woman is not.

* * *

Pants best woman go when they go together.

* * *

- Honey, can you talk to me?

- Honey, I'm in roaming, is dear to me on his mobile to say.

- Okay, then listen ...

* * *

After a couple of decades, real men run out.The world is full of Chinese fakes ...

* * *

husband wife:

- Honey, tell me the dirtiest word you know.

- Socks!

* * *

- Honey, what are you thinking now?

- If I wanted you to know, I would not have thought, as saying.