And as a joke , and in earnest ... ( funny aphorisms )

* * * dream of that we were on hand, often comes true when we are already in the cemetery.

* * *

Married program: the best years in exchange for food.

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New Clothes effect on a woman as a stack of four vodka man.

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And then we went to the registry office and put the government on notice that we sleep together.

* * *

The term "global warming" crept unfortunate typo.In fact, there was a view "global downcast."

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Dream - is what helps us to fly without leaving the couch.

* * *

Photo wife wallet recalls that in its place would be a lot more money.

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Love - is when you close your eyes to the shortcomings of the partner, open your ... hop - and have children!

* * *

My grandmother, who was very fond of cartoons, rewrote his apartment some two geese.

* * *

Evening News always begin with the words "Good evening!" And then the story begins, why it is not.

* * *

sign: if you have intelligent eyes and an enigmatic smile, then you are photographing.

* * *

can not have everything.Where would you put it?

* * *

Why computer stores still do not sell cat food, sweaters and beer ?!

* * *

raging hurricane "Antonina" smashed to pieces apartment of her husband.

* * *

Life does not stand still!It is shifting from foot to foot.

* * *

I bear a child stepped on his ear and elephant's foot.Since then I have no ear for music, but there's always one with a fin.

* * *

Did you know that unscrupulous cockroaches infest student room?

* * *

most difficult job in socks.They actually all day on their feet!

* * *

husband and wife were in a car accident.The wife did not suffer, and her husband escaped with slight cuff.

* * *

Blonde: "I know nothing ...".

* * *

We virus strike - onion peel, garlic!And then it Remember - beer, vodka, cognac!

* * *

Marry at a time of crisis.I say quietly, preparing delicious head does not hurt.

* * *

father checks a notebook young son:
- Why are you so unevenly write hooks?
- This is not the hooks, Dad, it's integrals.

* * *

In life, everyone has the black bars, but only depends on you, their width ...

* * *

become adept portray devotion.

* * *

resourceful python swallowed the rabbit and the rabbit, and no longer in need of food.

* * *

physical paradox: the more the character of integrity, the stronger pushes cornering.

* * *

Matoyazychnaya part of the population ...

* * *

If your life is beginning to pick up speed, do not rejoice too soon - perhaps it just went downhill ...

** *

Men do not even know how much they owe to the imagination of women.

* * *

Man came from a woman.

* * *

The greater say in society and sing about love, the less it is there.

* * *

go up on their heads is more convenient when they are built in order of size.

* * *

Judging by the beautiful girls, I would not say that it was the crisis in Russia.

* * *

Many people before you help, learn to to begin with - do not harm!

* * *

Nothing is more injurious to health as excessive care of him.

* * *

person under the blows of life breaks down and takes any form.

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Each head cockroaches.Accordingly, each head needs its own dichlorvos.

* * *

And we are engaged in what is called in Russian business.

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best way to help the community - to make sure that the public did not have to help you.

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Golden Mountains consist of a hole in the donut.

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If you broke up with his wife - share the experience with friends!

* * *

good striptease - a weapon nerve agent.