" Joke of a place "

* * *

Office.Nine p.m.Two steamed accountant prepare an annual report.One breaks away from the monitor:
- How many months of the year ..
- And?What?
- Months of the year?
- Uh-uh ... Ten ... Without VAT.

* * *

Grandson 5 years asks his grandfather - Colonel:
- grandfather, and when I grow up, I can also become a colonel?
- Of course, you can become a colonel, my grandson.
- A general can be?
- No, you can not, General.Generals have their grandchildren.

* * *

The couple, who has no children, friends questioned:
- You have such a wonderful family!You love each other!Why you do not have children?
- Yes, where did they come from?- Spouses speak.- We never happens.To us nobody goes ...

* * *

Two men ponder what to buy at the store:
- Soda?
- Nah, harmful.
- Chips?
- Nah, too bad.
- Oh, I have to take a beer.

* * *

- Zina, will you marry me!
- It's always, "Zina, will you marry me", and in the morning you're sober and you change your mind.
- No, Zina.
- Do not change your mind?
- not sober.

* * *

- Imagine, yesterday blocked the driving test.I was told that I pedaltonik.
- How's that?
- Gas pedal from the brake pedal can not tell.

* * *

- Mama, Mama!I heard an anecdote!
- Well, tell me, my daughter ...
- What are you, Mom, I'm still too small for such a joke ...

* * *

- Want to look at the little brother, whom the stork brought us?
- think, brother!You show me a stork.

* * *

the corridor of the university is a professor.Towards the student:

- Hello, Professor.May I ask you?
- of course, ask the young man.
- Tell me, Professor, when you lie down to sleep, the beard on a blanket or put under the blanket?
After a pause:
- Yes, you know, somehow did not think.
- Well, excuse me, please.
dispersed.A week later, Professor Green circles under the eyes meet in the hallway of the same student and grabs the lapels:
- Well, you bastard!A week already can not sleep - and so uncomfortable and so uncomfortable!

* * *

Biology lesson.Teacher:
- Little Johnny, tell the whole class, as the breed earthworms?
- division, Antonina Petrovna.
- And more?
- Shovel.

* * *

Plumber, finished repairing the crane, said owner-old woman:
- Well, all grannies, with your bottle.
- My dear, you can better money?
- No, Grandma, I can not be money - I have them cut.

* * *

- Lyus!Have you ever met a man at least once, by a touch that would shudder?
- Of course!Yes here yesterday ... I go to the dentist, I ...

* * *

Blondes!If the roots of the hair turn black - means, the brain still resists.

* * *

girl asks her mother:
- Is it true that all humans descended from apes?
- True.
- And I?
- And you.
- And you?
- I.
- And you have photos left?

* * *

man sitting at the bar and drink, drink, drink ... When already well dialed, she calls up the waiter and orders a beer.The waiter asks in horror:
- How beer ?!After vodka ?!
- Not after vodka and wine before ...