" Well, this anecdote ! "

* * *

One woman riding in the bus annoyed and thinks. "The passengers - louts and bullies husband drunk bastard children sadists and bullies I'm so poor and miserable..."Behind her stands guardian angel with a notepad and all the records on the fad: 1. Passengers - louts and bullies.2. Male - drunken bastard ... Etc.Then read and thought: "Oh, and why is it needed all the time, but you need to, it is necessary to perform ...?"

* * *

blonde looks in the mirror and says:
- I see something a personso familiar, but I can not figure out who it is.
Another blonde she responds:
- Come on, let me see ... You fool!Well this is me!

* * *

- Vasya, and your dad moonshine brews?
- Nah, he is drinking it raw!

* * *

Developments in medical school: the exam in Latin Losers Sidorov accidentally caused the Devil.

* * *

- Darling, do you love me?
- Of course, dear.
- What?
- Oddly enough ...

* * *

Blonde policeman stops.
- you have exceeded the speed.Present your driver's license.
- I can not give you the right!
- Why?
- Do not you know?Darren does not give!

* * *

A friend complains to another:
- Well, what a day ... In the morning, the car crashed, and now the cap from the USB drive lost ...

* * *

-Doctor, I'm sick.I can not tear myself away from the computer.At 18 hours a day I spend in front of the monitor!
- hopeless case does not happen!Let's treat.
- What ?!
- It is clear what - alcohol, cigarettes, girls!

* * *

After visiting the dining car passengers can not find my compartment.
- Do not you remember his number?- Wonders the conductor.
- No, but I do remember that the window was a birch grove.

* * *

Poll:
- girl say that every female representatives in Samara available at a feminine weapon.Is it so?
- Probably yes.I always carry pepper spray.
- I ask you about women's beauty!

* * *

- Honey, what do you give on March 8?Choose what you like - a diamond necklace, a mink coat, a villa on the French Riviera ..
-? Honey, give me only this evening, and my love!
- Cut!- The director has declared.

* * *

- Dad, you fought at school?
- Of course, fight!
- And you beat all?
- Of course, all!
- Dad, can you ask that you do not come to our school ..

* * *

- What is the best gift a girl on March 8: a great gift or a lot of little ones?
- Many small!
- Then give her seeds!