" We laugh together! "

* * *

man reading a book called "How to become the owner of the house."Inspired, he runs to the kitchen, and pokes his finger in his wife:
- From this moment on my word - the law!In the evening I cook a sumptuous dinner, and then do the bath so I can relax.Potrёsh my back, and shalt deliver bathrobe.Then do me a massage.Guess who then will I wear and prichёsyvat?
- Employee funeral?

* * *

- What is sweeter than anything else?
- Dream.Put next to a beautiful woman, but if you want to sleep, you did not pay it any attention.

* * *

- Have you ever seen that women are silent?
- Yes, only once, when we asked who is the most elderly?

* * *

- What is your tailbone?
- It's a little small-American police officer!

* * *

Blonde:
- Girl, you get out at the next stop?
- No, I've been through one.
- Then let's change?
- I mean, I'm on the next, and you through one?

* * *

New Russian asked:
- Why do you put on a jacket on the disassembly of the red?
- That if I hurt so lads did not noti

ce and did not flinch!
- Why should you dress brown pants?

* * *

- Rabinovich, have you heard?Abramovich bought a new boat!
- Ha, and you, well, want to buy it the old?

* * *

The receiving doctor's secretary calls one of the patients who did not pay for treatment:
- Hello?With your doctor says Secretary.I would like to speak to Mr. Smith.
- I'm listening.What's the matter?
- I'm sorry that we have to worry about, but check that we have sent to you for payment, she returned unpaid.
- Yes?In this case, pass the doctor that sciatica, which he promised to cure me, returned untreated.

* * *

the bus:
- your ticket?
- Neto, and yours?
- I controller, in fact!
- I'm an electrician, so I now pay for light is not ?!

* * *

- Ivanov, as you allow yourself to drink a day?
- Four bottles of beer!
- But I have allowed only two!
- The therapist also allowed two!

* * *

riverside walks a man with a camera.Runs breathless woman:
- Hurry!My friend is drowning!
- I'm sorry, madam, but I ran out of film ...

* * *

- I'm sorry, I already have a girlfriend ...
- And if you offer the Lamborghini, you also say that you haveLada?

* * *

- Dasha, you did not understand me!
- That I did not understand?I perfectly understand everything!You treat me like a dog, bring, bring, bring, bring!
- Dasha, you're wrong!
- What am I mistaken?Now I take a mop!
- Dasha, phew!