" And laughter , and ..." (humor , jokes , fun , funny aphorisms )

* * * A man tells his friends:

- And yesterday I caught my wife with her lover.And immediately the question squarely: "Either I - or is he?»
- Well, so what?
- Well, it - now it makes the trash.

* * *

wife nags her husband was late drunken:

- Where the hell were you ?!
- Zina, are you've seen them, too ???

* * *

Question traffic:

My daughter is 9 years old.Height her 1 m 50 cm, and it is already the size of a grandmother.Do I have to buy his grandmother a car seat?

* * *

- what an idiot you sent us?We needed a couple of normal guys!
- And this is paranormal guys!

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absolutely can not understand why eating cake weighing 100 grams, 200 grams is recovering.

* * *

Due to the poor knowledge of foreign language Susanin decided that the Poles are asked to show them the place, rich in cranberries.

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- it is not impossible to satiate!- Complained to the cow herder.

* * *

How to start a detachment of rodents?

* * *

Sailors do not have questions.In the histo

ry of the program, "What?Where?When? "From the sailors did not come to a single question.

* * *

The cheapest - do not buy!

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Three things often forgotten - gloves, umbrella and he promised to marry.

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In taxi: - "The quiet voice of your sounds - the further you taxi umchit!»

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on the doors of the Catholic Cathedral: "Brothers and sisters in Christ!Keep warm, close the door »

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Oriental man in the market advertise your product: -" Buy bananas, fatty, like sheep »

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Advertising insect repellent: -"Masha" - the last dinner cockroaches. "

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The Pedagogical Institute: - "March 6 at the institute held a club meeting dedicated to 8 March.""Buy our publication" Calendar "- with him you will live a regular basis!»

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In the newspaper::

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Stretching over Prospect - "elite private school is urgently needed pathologist".

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announcement from the studio for the production of tombstones: - "We offer seasonal discounts!»

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on the doors of the grocery store: - "The commercially available mobile phones b / y.Contact the Department of wine and vodka. "

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price tag on the market (near the deep plates): "saucer-bowl".

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Radio Advertising medications "youngish" is selected for each individual ... »

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announcement on elevator doors: -" Dear visitors!Elevator - Service.Using them RISK TO LIFE »