Just anecdote ( jokes , humor , funny sayings )

* * * Sit husband and wife, watch TV they show chic "Rolls-Royce" My husband says with admiration:

- Here is a machine!
- Well, such a machine or to the garden or to the country or in the forest will not go!
- Yes, if you had the car to the forest you would bring home!

* * *

- Yesterday I bought a second-hand bookstore in the book "How to Be a Millionaire."But at home, I saw that half the pages torn out.
- Nothing, half you too will not prevent.

* * *

traveler walking through the desert, the Bedouin meets and asks him:

- How do I get to the nearest town?
- Go straight all the time, and after the third turn right mirage ...

* * *

Two stopped a taxi and ask the driver:

- Not podkinesh three to the airport?
- Why not throw?Of course, throw in!Sit down.And where is the third?

Two, surprise:
- Are you with us you do not go?

* * *

During the exam the professor asks a student:

- Why do you worry so much?Are you afraid of my questions?
- Oh, no, Professor!I'm afraid my answer.

* * *

Died banker.Notary reads the will: "... and Ivanov, which I promised not to forget in the preparation of wills, convey their cordial greetings ...ยป

* * *

On the street a passerby asked:

- Could youI change for two hundred dollars?
- Unfortunately, no, but thanks for the compliment.

* * *

- It's amazing - the philosopher said.- When I was 20, I thought only of love.Now I love only think.

* * *

foreign tourist asked the guide:

- And what is the mortality in your country?
- The same as everywhere else.One case of death in the person.

* * *

Two elderly women met after a long separation.One says:

- What we've been pretty busy, especially me ...

second responds:
- And now we look so bad, especially you ...

* * *

- You know Vaska-So get a job!
- I suspected that for the money it is ready for anything!

* * *

- you are going to Sicily?Now there forty degrees in the shade.
- but not necessarily the same to go into the shadows!

* * *

Sun, will the coffee?

- Yes, dear!
- No, I'm talking to myself ...

* * *

The Internet club breaks disheveled man with a gun:

- This is a robbery!10:00 Internet fast!

* * *

Folk wisdom: All that crest well, the pig's death.