Just anecdote ( jokes , humor , funny sayings )

* * * - What is a "douche"?
- This is when you get out of the sauna, and you meet her husband and your wife!

* * *

- Somehow, when I came home, I was met by his wife, dressed in sexy underwear.She handed me two pitches and said a weary voice: "Tie me and do whatever you want!" I tied her up and went on a fishing trip.

* * *

coach of the football team summoned to the goalkeeper's office:

- Well, that Sidorov, after we lost yesterday with a score of 16: 0, it will be fair if I ask you to leave the team?
- true ?!Yes, it's a complete mess!You attackers can not score a single goal, and you will bring down the entire blame on the goalie!

* * *

Traffic police officers every day refute Russian folk saying "do not whistle - the money will not be."

* * *

girl from the province entered the Moscow Institute.A month later, her mother calls:
- Daughter, how are you?They say that all the students in Moscow drink, smoke, use drugs, sexual promiscuity, enter into religious sects ...

Daughter (surprised):
- Religious sects ?!

* * *

With a truck on a passenger fell loose from the log.From the damaged car a woman came out and began to cry.

- Well, so do not kill ... - sympathy to her passers-by.
- My husband will never believe that the tree there came upon me, and I do not - in a tree!

* * *

said that the players all the way around, and when they come home and turn on the TV, you look at him as the men sit with a beer and swear at them from the other side of the screen ...

* * *

Five financial action arithmetic:
1. oligarchs like to multiply money.
2. MPs love to share money.
3. Officials like to deduct the money.
4. Bankers like to add money.
5. And everyone else can only put off the things of the first four action remains.

* * *

new Russian maid, cleaning office, from behind, his curiosity was strewn with fallen nest egg to death master.

* * *

- you can support a family?- Asks the father of the groom's daughter.
- Of course!
- I am very happy.Just keep in mind - we have eight people!

* * *

Russian officials most like to look at the sea - the rollback of the rollback, rollback of the rollback, rollback of the back ...

* * *

- Where is safer to live - or near Moscownear Novosibirsk?
- Calmer all live under the weather today.