With humor about serious : jokes

* * *

doctor, disgruntled small fee, ironically asks the patient:

- It's me or my assistant?

- This is for you for two ...

* * *

When the chief talked about the start of the project "White wages," I think that now in accounting will take place as much as we receive.But I did not expect that we will receive as much as took place in accounting ...

* * *

man comes to the doctor-dietician.He asks:

- Sweet respect?

- No!

- Flour eat?

- No!

- Well, anything you like?

- Eggplant.

- So, you can not be!

* * *

- I've heard that Nicholas married.Do you know, for love or for profit?

- Well, he took his wife for the sake of gain, and money - for love.

* * *

husband to his wife.

- Honey, do you love me?

- What next!Old idiot!The hell you gave me!Yes, drat, pervert!Do I love him ?!Yes, I cursed the day when we're married!To you, jerk, reptile, creature, demons have taken away!What do you want from me, you bastard ?!

- It's nothing, okay.Just tomorrow, February 14, Valentine's D

ay, I really wanted to ...

- Ahh ... Okay, honey, what could be there, we love women, not yet a hex in a fit of love!

* * *

- How much is this coat for my wife?

- It will cost you 30 000 euro.

- Wait, like something is wrong ... Let us all once again!

- It will cost ....

- Oh, right!It will cost!

* * *

- Remember where you met his wife?

- How to remember - a lantern ...

- What lights did not work?

* * *

- What's your name?

- Vladimir Sergeyevich, or.

- you do not know or do not remember?

- No, I do something just remember ... The mother is not sure!

* * *

wife wakes her husband:

- What's the matter?Why are you shouting?

- I dreamed that Marussia is sinking!

- What kind of Maroussia?

- Yes, you do not know her, I met her in a dream ...

* * *

Pigs - a glamorous animals.They rose, and around them so much dirt that the tabloids and never dreamed of.

* * *

Programmer at the doctor:

- Doctor, I am sick.I can not tear myself away from the computer.At 18 hours a day I spend in front of the monitor!

- hopeless case does not happen, we will treat it.

- What?

- It is clear what - alcohol, cigarettes, the women!

* * *

Son comes to his father and asks:

- Dad, where the Alps?

- Ask your mom, it's all she constantly from place to place interchanges.