About you and me and about those with them

* * *

- Doctor, I need an effective tool for weight loss!

- No problem.I'll prescribe coal.

- In powders or tablets?

- in bags.The cars will be unloaded!

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Police:

- Madam, when you were driving down the highway, I immediately identified: at least seventy.

- What do you mean.Just this hat I have a very old one.

* * *

evening.23.30.Mother and son conversation:

- Well, son, what date was it?

- Excellent!

- When the fine, come back in the morning ...

* * *

He: Honey, what smells so delicious?You coffee cooked or baked pies?She

: Coffee baked ...

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- You have a bachelor?

- No, I'm still fighting.

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- Oh, dear, when it comes the summer ...

- This summer will come when you earn it.

* * *

- What is the growth must be the guy that likes women?

- 55 centimeters.And the weight of 3.5 kilograms.A couple of years you will not chayat soul and to resort to the first peep.

* * *

- What are you drawing?

- kitty!

- Where's the tail?

- He's still in pencil!

* * *

Marketers at an impasse: baseball nobody plays in Russia, and the demand for baseball bats keeps growing and growing.

* * *

Good advice.If the battery paste over the skin pieces from an old fur coats to the outside - you will have a warm and furry pet.

* * *

- what an idiot you sent us?We asked a couple of normal guys ...

- And this is paranormal guys!

* * *

- Light, and let me your portfolio will bear!

- Yes, it is not heavy.

- I'm not strong!

* * *

alarm screaming not because the car window smashed and broke the window, because the screaming alarm.

* * *

When my grandfather came back at night, smelling of vodka and grandmothers.

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Want to save on washing crisis?Washed by hand, not turning on the light in the bathroom!

* * *

- Hello, you what?

- Yes, so decided to err number.

* * *

somewhere to invest, first they have to be put somewhere.

* * *

Old shoes will last longer if you do not buy new ones.

* * *

The man in the market buying zucchini.Seller: "It is you male or female I need to be with caviar ..."

* * *

Plastic Surgeon:

- Spout want fun?Who will pick up ... So, Piglet, shnobel ... Here, look, an interesting model.Eagle Dream.But this.Poluboks.Do you want a brownie?

- Something I do not remember a cake with his nose.A potato!

* * *

crisis - a chance to feel like a slave owner employer.

* * *

Men - the mouse.Separately look - cute, heartwarming animal, and in the house be got - just want to poison!

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bought black radish.Washed.People, it is white!

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Night Street - "Lantern", pharmacy ... A nefig wander at night!

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Advertising on the Eiffel Tower: "Christmas discount".