I envy a friend or happiness in a civil marriage

Tomorrow is the wedding of my friend.She is so happy and excited scared.I look at her and envy.No, of course I'm happy, because I love her very much.But the very reason I do not feel sad ... a festive mood, even though we live in hectic wedding last month.

And my husband sleeps on the couch.However, it is not official - civilian.And we have a civil marriage have, as they say, and easier - cohabitation.When I heard this word from her aunt, who came from the provinces, I have already warped.She never asked, "And your roommate where he works," When I was offended and said that he is my husband, she Nezlobnaya laughed and said that he was her husband, may be, can not be, and already have a roommate.And if I'm so independent, I live with him without registration, so should calmly relate to the way I look in the eyes of others.

My mother was upset, and I was embarrassed in front of her.But I really do not think that doing a bad thing.Denis We love each other, want to be together.He says that the marriage ti

e themselves early, you need to try, how we get along together, get used to the characters.And that stamp in the passport of anyone still did not save from divorce.

I understand all this.But in my heart I know and what I would like to have a wedding, white dress and veil, and girlfriends, and colors, and even the salad "Olivier," let it be.And I want to wake up in the morning, look at the ring on his finger and think - I have a husband, a real one.

And Dennis just laughs, says that sooner wear a collar, still have time.We live well, do not quarrel.But, honestly, I do not like it much.For example, he could not prevent and to declare the evening with friends.And pronounce that I was not at the parade and no food in the refrigerator.Or go away for the weekend with someone fishing.

I understand that his life has not changed much because we have to live together.And my very much changed.I had a mass of duties and household chores.And when I ask Dennis to help, he jokes and says that I am his wife, mistress and must deal itself.

But it turns out that I have a wife, when you need something to do, and when I try to discuss the budget, any plans for the future, he shrugs and decides everything himself.I kept quiet because I'm afraid of losing him.I think that is only to express their displeasure with something, he immediately offer to disperse.And that means I need to go home, since we live in his apartment.

We live for the second year, and the more, the better I understand that I have some duties and no rights.But all in the family should be equally - both rights and responsibilities.And I live for today.If you start thinking about the future, it does not represent.

All my attempts to talk with Dennis seriously hampered by a lack of understanding or irritation.He says that I wind the currently knows that, so that now half the couples lives, and everything is normal.And when I mentioned to the child, he strongly objected and warned that if I decide it myself, and then she will educate him.

My friends all very different - in a beautiful book.Her husband looked after her for a long time, gave flowers and toys, met after work, arranged all sorts of surprises.Yes, they have had sexual relations before marriage, but about civil marriage, he once said in front of me, it's not for him, since he is quite able to understand - the person next to him or not, without any trial period.

And I mean, the second year of going through a trial period.And who knows when it will end, and what ... I'm starting to think that Denis and would never marry, and how can I suggest to him the idea, I do not know.I love it, and would have been a good wife.But I now doubt that he loves me, just do not understand that I am very hard to live.What is there to do?