The reverse side of responsibility

Helen in our company called "nurse-mother" has been his student.Those who did not know her so well, as we heard it, wondered how thin fragile, delicate woman could earn a nickname.But we all, her close friends have invested in these words a lot of sense.

Lena, and the truth is, for many young girls, and even children, torn from home, our hostel was almost natural mother.She took care of all broody, who got in its field of view, the first rushed to the rescue, if something happened.She could be trusted any secret, and no one ever found out about him.It is with all the ardor of his great soul took care, assisted, supervised, he taught those who needed it and even those who did not have this particular need.

Elena had some incredible sense of responsibility for everything that happened to her and her entourage.Sometimes its continued involvement in our affairs began to irritate, to strain and even anger.There were even quarrels, in the heat of which one of the wards shouted and demanded to leave him alon

e, to live their lives.Olga took offense, stepping aside, but not for long ...

Once considered a priori that when people everywhere and always takes the responsibility, is very good and quite rightly.But is it really?Of course, well, when next to you people, who not only is everything, but also carefully protects you from liability.For weak and indecisive nature - it's just the perfect option, but what about the rest?

As time went on, we have long since graduated from college but continued to communicate.In all there were families, children.But Elena is not too lucky in his personal life.Her first husband could not stand the fact that she literally everything solved itself, scrutinizing everything and question all the time dictated, to teach, not given opportunities to show independence.So he could not resist, he told her goodbye, that with it he had forgotten how to be a man and master of his house.And he left ...

Attractive energetic Elena was one long and married a second time.Call her second husband Alfonso can not - he still works, although it does not break or make a career or earn decent money.Not he seeks to change something, to decide and commit violence.All worries Elena took it on himself, but the years go by, and in fact does not increase strength.But in response to the criticisms of her husband in inactivity, inertia and indifference of her husband calmly replied that she knows and knows how to make things better.

same infantile and their son.After graduating from the Institute, with her mother's help, he got a cushy job, earns only travel and cigarettes, but rejoices in life and nothing is experiencing difficulties and shortages.One young man even said that he always wanted to live well and quietly, without straining.In this family, toiling only Elena.

problems she and at work, because she is trying to do everything herself, and, even in those matters where there is quite competent and responsible for that colleague.And if something goes wrong, then it appears again the feeling of guilt and dissatisfaction.Colleagues do not like it, the bosses, too, and for her it is another source of stress, because it is trying to do everything as best as possible.

How do you find here the border, where the ability to take responsibility passes to the pressure on the others and make their lives miserable?Apparently, everyone should solve it yourself, because it is very good when you are able to control their own lives.But we must be able to give the opportunity and others to make decisions.Moreover, it must be admitted, and the right to make a mistake, not only blame yourself for all the ills of mankind.

And how they live and what they feel people here are giperotvestvennye?Surviving for all and all, they are so immersed in other people's problems, that they can not truly rest and relax.Perceiving other people's failures as their own defeat, responsible people are wasting too much strength and vitality, ultimately, their health, and often suffer from various ailments.In addition, persistent fears and anxieties giperotvetstvennyh people leads to emotional stress, which can turn into chronic, and it already requires serious treatment.

arise from them serious problems in relations with children.Strong pressure or completely deprive the child of initiative, that in future, for it turns into big problems.Solving all of the child, the mother, so that not only teaches its independence and adequate response to different situations, but also raises the confidence that it will always be, there is always someone to solve his problem, and he can only go with the flow.

But parental pressure often causes the child resistance takes many forms.The reluctance to blindly obey, the need for independence leads to conflicts in the family and, often, to a complete unwillingness to listen to the views of parents.The child is simply trying in any way to break free, and where it may cause such a desire, we can only guess.

That's why every man and giperotvestvennomu in the first place, it is necessary to change its assessment of its own successes and failures.We can not allow that all life has become eternal problem - not their own, so their loved ones.A reasonable distribution of duties, responsibilities between all family members is much more productive and safer for health and family welfare, for friendly relations than sole control over the affairs of others.