Evdokia Rostopchina

«... female soul
should shine in the shadows."

Moscow near the Chistye Prudy still preserved remains of the manor, where there were a girl, which was destined to become the great Russian poet.Born Evdokia Sushkova - this was her maiden name - in 1811.For ten or twelve years already I wrote poems.She then scolded, considering it unseemly occupation for girls noblewoman, is surprised nowhere who took nothing, forced to read in the homes of a large kindred.

Grandmother and granddaughter grandfather brightened, as they could, orphan childhood.Note: the girl is not among the ordinary, easily learns languages, "swallows" scientific Talmud.And like country - without cause crying, laughing inappropriately, then the goat jumps on the masquerades, the little old lady sitting.

addition Dedova library was the girl another treasure - a huge overgrown garden.Shivering from the damp night, not responding to the call of the nannies, she was hiding in the bushes of lilac and watched out the beautiful world.Here go

es the sunset over Moscow, That circling over Menshikov Tower jackdaws, settling into retirement.Cry?What a pity that she does not understand their language.

And at first slowly, and then filling all the space around, forcing her soul comes in silent delight, spreading chimes.In the morning, when no sunset or bird circling nor ringing will not, we can recall came in the head at night and relive all.This is - "to write poetry» ...

poet Vyazemsky once took a small piece of paper covered with writing Sushkova.Showed poet Delvig.He was surprised.The poems have appeared in print.However, without the author's name.Perhaps Delvig thought coincidence, inspiration, has come and gone.Evdokia also felt "the inheritance of a mysterious something to me signs ...".

With Evdokia friends nicknamed her briefly and tenderly - Dodo, a teenager with gloomy eyes.It was Lermontov.On one of the dance parties of its elegant crowd of young girlfriends allocated their attention adult.I do not dance - talked to her seriously and thoroughly.This man - Pushkin.

Zhukovsky, in the lifetime of the classic and a true friend of Pushkin, after the death of the poet gave Evdokia not filled by Alexander Sergeyevich book for poems."Orphan books'.He said that he believes - she afford to fill her poems worthy of Pushkin.She was frightened:

unworthy, My heart confessor came his hand.I song timid, inexperienced, disorderly Verse wonderful Pushkin ordered it replaced! »

Is not destiny?Tall, mysterious ... To be a poet.That's right - a poet, not a poet - he shall be called great Evdokia male contemporaries: Gogol, Krylov and Chaadaev.Tiutchev, Shchepkin, Glinka, Bryullov, Fedotov, Tropinin, more and more of the lights of Russian culture, in terms of which it will enter on an equal footing.

But in his youth, when she "dreams of space called" dreamed not the volume of published books and accolades "great".I dreamed, like all the girls in the world, only about him.Finest and single.Which probably also looking for her.And suffering.And dreams of meeting.Thus began a poetry Sushkova Dodo - a transformation into a beautiful line of poetry quite ordinary girlish dreams.

And then we will hear her poems in the voice of a woman, which makes reality to wake up from the "favorite dreams."And now the heart of the first chill touch of disappointment.More than once will resurrect hope.More than once will lament their death.

maturing woman.Poet matures.Mature poems.Uninvited arrival of wisdom.Humility before the inevitable.And it's true: a person comes into the world alone?And crying bitterly.And leaves - one.And crying has no power."My dreams are accustomed to the thought of the burial ...»

All my life not too long Evdokia Rostopchina wrote Diary of Women.Nothing in it is not out of date, not distorted, not faded over the past half century.He was and will remain Diary women of different generations, our grandparents and those who only have to come into this world, because, no matter how different our destinies, no one has to step beyond the boundaries of the "eternal triangle": life - love - death.

Strangely, Evdokia like "did not notice" of his conversion to Rostopchin, entered the well-known and rich family.The ringing wedding bells a single line did not respond to her poetry.Only thirty years later, recalling the wedding spring - "spring without nightingale spring without inspiration, without spring lily of the valley", hiding himself under a false name, Rostopchina say: - "She walked into the house without the husband's mistakes ... but with hard, fineself-confidence, with the intention of true and holy perform their duties - not dreaming about love, too impossible, but my husband is ready to give a direct and high friendship. "

write prose.For poetry, apparently, "a direct and high friendship" with her husband not resigned, and easily, flying rhyme Dodo continued to hide another, mysterious, which has passed through her life invisible.Who is he?No one knows.Cousin Rostopchina recalled that Evdokia before the wedding "a week before their fate ... desperately talked about her ardent and constant love for another."

how passionate and how gentle he is my idol, my love slave ... 6 When he knew that hopeless sadness Uvyanu I not understood it! .. 6 When he knew!

After the wedding started another life.Farewell, beloved garden, privacy, treasured books ... They changed the entertainment, dancing, theater fans.It is not up to poetry.Why it this whole mess?She answers herself, as if apologizing to his muse, frightened her vain and shallow pleasures:

individuals moving round the me, the period of his personality, I destroy, self-awareness of the brutal lose, forgets his anxiety I ...

What if you do not "self cruel "prompted Rostopchina: stop!Stop, even if there is a danger in public to hide in a bitter weeping that has not been created for the life which is now forced to lead.Loneliness alone - a chronic disease of all unhappy families caught and Rostopchin ... What happened?

Russian wilderness, until then obscure villages literature owes many fine pages."Haven of peace, works and inspiration" was not only Pushkin in St. Michael.That's just escaped Derzhavin, Karamzin, Tiutchev, Nekrasov, many, many others.Calm breathing rhythmically ground, singing Ptakha, among the snowdrifts which calls upon the spring, autumn rains and washed out roads - all this is given to influence the soul.Probably, in adulthood, it feels stronger.That Evdokia, when she was a girl, bored with the country.

Now it is different.Longing to know the truth and the true sadness.Yes I gathered and went to Voronezh village with the strange name - Anna.On the open space in the old building with creaking floorboards I changed my mind about many Evdokia.The fact that it is - her marriage?What for?"... Living in the stifling tomb buried ... in twenty years ..." It was necessary to do away with resentment over whether young, you dare to deceive the heart, or the fate, reducing it to the great, and with a single razvedshuyu.

ever ... but it's too late!When in their steppes far will I, when for a long time, we will be forever strife - then you will understand and remember me ..

Sadness and melancholy retreat!.Again she began to write poetry.

verse that my passionate easy, joking got me and not bought it in wrestling, agonizing, horrible?

moments of despair when she was disgusted with myself, mediocre, tearing the paper, were followed by the realization that this is it - it turns.

In the village of Anna wrote Evdokia Rostopchina first book of prose, many poems.In 1840 he published a collection of poetry.One after another, there are novels in verse and prose.They read as "complete life story."A rapid, creative temperament Rostopchina pushes her to try a new genre.

Again luck.Name female playwright to come down from the posters of famous theaters - Small and Alexandrinka.None of the metropolitan journals and almanacs does not go without rostopchinskih collections of poetry and prose.Publishers literally snatch the manuscript from the pen, and books Evdokia Petrovna does not lie on the shelves.

Evdokia Rostopchina and helped to break young talents.Her generous soul was ready to support any endeavor for the benefit of Russian culture.All proceeds from the publication of their works Evdokia Petrovna passed on to charity.In Russian literature and culture of the XIX century to find such a bright female figure as Rostopchina.None of the female voice sounded so confident with and sonorous force ....

And in what is called private life, it seemed, all at its disposal to depression and mental fatigue.It was unloved husband.The roof over the head of their shared home.Forever.This was not correct.And there was love.Illegal, neblagoslovlennaya, sinful, condemned, but love ...

Father of two daughters, Evdokia Petrovna was Andrei Karamzin, the son of the famous writer and historian.What was the passion?And what was the cause of her sad outcome?No sooner do we about it ever know.What so famously captured, and we consider it a special advantage - call a spade a spade - it is not in a poetic diary Evdokia Rostopchina.

There are words, sensations, thoughts, which are to die with the man, not slaves to anyone."Yes!female soul must shine in the shadows ", - says Rostopchina.Roman finished.Dream ... interrupted the lawful wife of Andrei Karamzin was the beautiful Aurora Demidova, from those years were dramatic line:

my unforgettable!Silent grief and soul Memories series invaluable - This is all that remains for me!Sorry, sorry .. One supplication, one wish for you I'll bother destiny: to elect thee love to know how I ... you to be happy without me!

In February of 1841, arrived in St. Petersburg on vacation, Mikhail Lermontov saw not a thin dark-eyed girl, Dodo Sushkov and metropolitan celebrity in the full bloom of her beauty, literary fame.He saw a woman through a lot.She, too, was well aware of who he really is - an officer Michel Lermontov.They had to talk about, something to remember, something to complain about and how to comfort each other.They had their own.They read poetry to each other, and later Mikhail asked his grandmother Elizabeth A. rostopchinsky send a new volume of his Pyatigorsk.

Leave it passed quickly.It was necessary to gather the Caucasus, Lermontov said Dodo, a premonition that his impending death.In that heart sank, but she did not let on.Even made fun of his suspiciousness."He will come back unharmed ..." This line of Rostopchina poems written under the impression of gloomy thoughts of the poet, it sounds like an incantation."I am one of the latter shook his hand," - she recalled.I thought - before the meeting.It turned out - to eternal separation.

Then, leaving, at the very threshold he held Dodo album, where she wrote a poem dedicated.

We all were born the way we were odnoyu, they deceived us the same dreams.In anticipation of eternal separation, I'm afraid I'm afraid his heart will give the treacherous sound Dream vain trust ...

... .Sny, even if they had been deceived, dreams, if they do not come true ....But the only thing that did not change their ever - poetry, it will remain.And someone's heart clogged in time with their rhyme.So, it was not in vain ...

... completes the year 1858.Evdokia Rostopchina was no longer alive.