Is there a good mother in law ?

Letter to my roommate, independent and beautiful woman who can no longer see the mummy of her husband.

I know one mileyshuyu and kind woman who once confessed to me as follows: "It is not lucky with me my daughter!I do not know it yet (the son of 16 years), but do not advance.Of course, I will not do anything and will not interfere, but never I will not treat her like a mother. "

That's it.And it is - true.Only some have the courage to admit it, but others pose as a sort of loving and caring.Tёscha It soon became his son-in-law and will never accept a daughter, as a daughter.It is disappointing, but her husband's mother relates to us only as a person to whom it is entrusted to take care of her child.Well you care - you can be a human contact, and if something is not like in your relationship to her little son, all the - you're bad.

-law said that she gave after the registrar responsible for further care and education of their overage child you.And now she is in a special position: it is from the hei

ght of his experience, age and rank-in-law has the right to teach you, to criticize, to watch your morals.

Even if my son - drinking and idle loafer, it is your fault: you can not cope with her husband, because he was not like this before, was such a good boy, but lived with you and began to drink, walk.Or another option: you no one to marry is not pulled by force, and if she wanted to, so be patient.All this is unfair, terribly sorry, but the exceptions are so rare, that is why called exceptions.

There are women who have an analytic mind, this open-mindedness and a rich life experience that they can not discriminate look at his son and himself.An indication that your mother in law refers to that rare species, is that it will communicate with you as a friend, as a man interested in you no matter what you tell her come.

Such women never even maintain its very close relatives only because it is their relatives, and may even break off relations with her mother when she was a bad person.As a rule, they have a lot of true friends, but they will never obtselovyvat lisp and his beloved son.

If you think it's better, it is very wrong.With a smart woman, all the more in-law, is required to be smart.If you are on their mental abilities are not quite live up to his mother in law, she simply distanced from you, that too can be very disappointing.

But more often in-law - a simple-minded aunt, who thinks her son is worthy of the very best, as your destiny - it is best to bring him in the teeth.So complain about the mother-husband - useless and thankless task.She could hear poahat even cry, but always support his son.

For example, tell an instructive story about my mother in law.End of the story that I hated not only this vile woman, but her husband and divorced him.It all started great.It was the second marriage, as I have, and it has.

From the first husband and wife (let's call him Sergei) and his mother parted bitter enemies.Sergei was brought up a staunch egotist.When our relationship with him began to turn towards the sunset, I foolishly started complaining to his mother that he was somewhere hanging around until the night that sipping and behaves inappropriately.

-law worried: it is very profitable, I had a wife for him in every way, and came to "talk" with her sonny.She told him sternly at me, he behaves wrongly, that it is necessary to warn me if delayed.I said that he will no longer be.And then before you go thinking that I can not hear, I said to him: "What now, be patient, just married.The third time, I suppose you will get married? ".Stick it !?- Just spit in my face.

And this despite the fact that she was a remarkable son at the time was unemployed (must be patient, it is a difficult time), I wandered (but he's younger than you), was rude to me (maybe you're the one to blame), drinking (heit is necessary, and hang out with friends).As you know, all the good that I have done for her, was forgotten, I felt bad.

After a while she started to pretend he does not want us to come, because I have all unhappy.Then she began to pay attention to the fact that I no longer give her money and I give expensive gifts, not to represent an ideal daughter in front of her neighbors and relatives.

And most importantly, it is the peasant realized that I certainly will not take care of her in old age, to live with her.Then she began to escalate the situation, I do not consider the interests of earrings, I began the calculations that I bought myself, and that to him.

husband got me weak, non-independent person who has always intuitively was looking for a easy way and at the slightest difficulty shifting the issues at me, then to me, and also to blame.He easily seduced by her mother's inventions, and together they came to the conclusion that I did not live up to their expectations.

I'm so tired of this family that, having parted with him felt happy.One good thing: thanks to its former (fortunately) in-law, I knew very well that such a husband I do not want in any way.

I know that she is interested in how I live now and with whom.I know that it is there and convinces himself domyslivaet, earrings and all who are not tired of listening to it, what I'm bad.Well, God bless her, I'm not even angry, that's her problem.

What to do?To in-law did not create you problems, never took her as his cousin.It's the mother of your husband, and the husband can quit and today he is your husband - there is no tomorrow.Observe the rules of the game.If no children, the husband's mother do absolutely alien to you people.

Do not tell her that can be reinterpreted and understood differently.They say that all family problems you decide yourself.We congratulate her on holidays, sometimes take her to his house, always something treats.And never live with her.Not only do you in the house of a senseless man, get in headache burden on behalf of the mother in law.

nothing to discuss with the husband concerning his mother.If the guy you want, drag it over to his side, but so that he did not notice it.Then in-law realizes that will be the way you want, and do not dare to say the word across.

If there was a child, his mother became a grandmother to your son.She loves your son, not because it is your son, but because he is the son of her son.And you just gave birth to a genetically healthy child, just like any other healthy woman.

If relations are worthless, and mother in law has a tendency to intrigues, it will try to fall in love with her grandson, to oppose your son to you, that just happens often.After all, you already see that the situation escalated to the limit, you both begin to spoil the child and pull in different directions.

one way out: all the way to reduce their communication.Here you go with her husband to the south, and the boy left with her mother in law.And now I have six months to disentangle their holidays.In your situation, it was impossible to do that.He would take his son with him.Not as it is small, that I could not go with you.But he was spoiled in the three weeks since his grandmother, now considers that it it better than you.Much to her delight.

And I advise you - to change the flat.You work for an hour ride, and your beloved mother in law comes to you on foot in 15 minutes.Think any reason, add money and moved to the center, close to work, away from her mother in law.Soon the boy to go to school, even if it goes to a good school - that is the number one reason.Yes, and your husband will be working closer to home.

And you, forget-me-how naive hoped that his mom will help you, babysitting.It is certainly tempting, but certainly not for you.The right itself!And hubby longer have to deal with his son than with his mama.You got a husband is not the worst, you will live with it completely, if you want.Maybe even give birth to a baby girl.

in-law do not condemn you, and do not cry.She behaves as one would expect.You just missed the question about his inexperience and naivety.And do not let the situation take its course, take into their own hands and build a life, so that you feel comfortable.

And please, be polite, relaxed and friendly, you do not make marriages with her bickering.A husband, especially yours, do not you mate - relationship with her mother in law - it is only your business.So go ahead, dear, no hopeless situations, if the output chase!