- Dim, you do not mind if I'll go have a rest for a week?So roll up at work, there is no power.Stay twisted burning in the resort ... I'm sorry, I'm here without you looked at the tour desk, - Svetlana told me.
What could I answer her?Of course, I did not like that his wife would go alone.But it really was delayed at work, sometimes even brought documents home and work.
- I do not feel happy, but if you are tired, go, - I replied.
The explicit reason not to trust her, I had not.Yes, and I adhered to the principle that did not hold a candle.If you think about all jealous, you can go mad.Family center we created yesterday.We had been married for sixteen years.Son Sergei was fifteen.The school year just ended, and where it sdernesh to relax ?!
- So you do not mind?I agree to the permit?- Refined light.
- What do you ?!You were, as I understand, has already decided.
- But without your consent is awkward.
- You go.
- Thank you, - said Light.He came up to me and kissed me on the cheek.- You're a
Despite the intervening years, I loved my wife.She did not look good from the moment we met - the same slender and pretty.
- I'll make you all that you are here with hunger on the sandwiches are not crossed.For Earring see, and it will eat cold food.
- When leaving?
- A come back?
- Saturday night.
This conversation took place in our Monday.In the remaining days before the departure she cleaned and cooked us a son of reserves.And parallel to pick up his clothes.
- You do not like going for a week and a month, at least.
- These are the women.We need to remeasure all.You do not want your wife to look worse than others?
- I do not know how it will look like the others.Yes, and I do not want to compare.
- Dim, you do not take offense, okay?I understand that you're currently wearing.But do not be offended.
- Decided same ...
When she was going, I noticed it some nervousness: movement in appearance were normal, but something sometimes slipped - she suddenly detain look at some things, reflect, and then abruptly putsher.I had a feeling that she was nervous.I did not attach any importance to this, as it considered that the worries, leaving us alone.
son to his mother took leave quietly.He still was already almost adult and family affairs parents did not intervene.He had his own interests in life, and departure-arrival of the parents - it is not essential.
Thursday evening Light has gathered us with her son in the kitchen and began to spend a tour of the refrigerator, explaining where and what is, and what to do.
- From your trip in a couple of days, you can get lost.All the way to the product mix.What see, then we will have, and so descending to the rear wall of the refrigerator.
- Shut up, wise guy.In the first place you always sausage and cheese.Come before his father, so at least something to him leave.
- Well, will not let him die before your arrival.
- Well, all my men.Where are your clothes know.Not little will understand ...
Thus ended the week.In the morning I took the Light at the station.The train left at nine.The trip was five hours.The compartment was empty.
- Look great.You can sit quietly, - said his wife.
- The road podsyadut.
on the radio that left five minutes before departure.I kissed the Light.
- Look for earrings.And then you have the whole day at work ...
- Come on.We will understand.
I left the compartment, went to the vestibule, and stepped onto the platform.He went to the window of the compartment, where she sat Light.Her sad eyes looking at me.A railroad car dusty glass face, as it were blurred in the haze.She tried to smile, but the smile was unnatural and sad.
train started.She waved to me.Picking up speed, the car carried away from my wife.When it was not seen, I headed for the exit from the platform.
days flew.The evening gave way to night.Ordinary weekdays.On Friday I said to my son:
- Serge, my mother arrives tomorrow.It is necessary to clean the apartment.
- it will be done.
I returned from work without stopping.The son put things in order in the house: wiped the dust cleaned their litter.
- Dad, it's okay.I'm going to Sasha that sit at home?
- A lesson?
- All done.
- Go.But no later than ten home.
When the son left, I walked around the apartment.Then he went into the kitchen, made the tea, and sat down at the table, not knowing what to do.
«Maybe something to prepare for the arrival of the world - I thought - go buy something for tea."Mechanically, glancing at his watch, I said that the time has come to an eight - shops are open.At this time, began to play the melody cell, for the music, I realized that the rings of light.I grabbed the phone.
- Hi, - I said it first - I'm listening.We have everything in order - I World has reported.
- Dim, hello.Glad to hear from you.Well, that's all right.
- When your train arrives tomorrow?
The tube was relative silence.Light was silent, but I heard a sound like a car engine work, as if she had spoken out."Why is she in the car?" - I thought.
- You do, where now?
- Dim, I did not come.Excuse me, - I heard the voice of a nervous Amy.
After some confusion, did not understand what she said, I asked:
- I do not understand.Where you not come?
- I'm not going back.Do not leave the handset.I could not tell you the house.Not strong enough.I met a man.A long time ago.And now I decided to live with him.I could not tell you this in the eye.I do not commend you.No!But there is such a thing - love.And then I realized that it is just now.I know what you're thinking, but I can not help it.Sorry.Sergey try to explain.Although, as you do, I can not imagine.It happened ...
She paused.I, too, was silent.It was not a shock, not thunder in a clear sky.It was empty.
- Did you say something?Some kind of reaction do you have?Well, nakrichit at me, cursed, but something tell me.
- Screaming - for the weak.And we with the son of the forces still come in handy.That's your decision.I have to you just one more request.
- Do not call us.Neither I nor son.Forget my phone number.Son also do not care.You made a choice, so forget about us.Your Stuff I'll take your mother.In divorce court I come - all through a lawyer.If you have property claims - all through it.I have no desire to see you, so forget about us.All.
I hung up.What I felt at that moment?I did not know how to describe it.Nothing.Heart sank no pain - I was as if in a vacuum, in a vacuum, and it got to the heart.I imagined that it is now in a car with another man.Light, I for many years of a joint life thought I knew ... naive.You it all, is not known.
I loved her?Hard to say, but I think, yes, I loved.In general, what is love?Everyone has his own love, which manifests itself in normal everyday situations.I have not worn it in his hands, did not sing the praises.I'm just like a man admired her as a woman, with whom I was good.I tried to, and it happened to me as well.So, it did not happen.Failed.But the blame for a felt.
if she betrayed us?No, I did not consider it a betrayal.She chose a path that we do not go together.But the insult was.Bitterness.Bitterness of emptiness, callousness.That it was necessary to beat his chest and repeat?Silly.But my heart ached.Aching because I have lost a loved one, which will no longer be there.And with that we had to put up, to fill the gap.Not another woman - life.And his son.
As explained Sergey?How does he behave, react?I had no idea.Looking at the phone, I went to the subscriber list and erased from memory Svetin number.And from his own?Time will erase ...
What to do now?I did not know what to fill an evening.Prior to her call was waiting for the meeting, which will be gone.Poured herself a strong cup of tea, I, regardless of their desires, lost in thought.It was a long night that divided life into "before" and "after."In the "before" have a memory in the "after" - unknown.
apartment was filled with silence.And this silence, as my lack of understanding of what happened.The oppressive emptiness splashed on my share of anger, jealousy, not to her but to the receding past.Void sharpens the senses, pulled nerves.I understood his helplessness, frustration with their situation.Mechanically I walked around the apartment while staying in prostration.The reality of the situation gave rise to doubts that it was not serious, and sleep.Nerves were on edge.My feelings were not in harmony with the soul.Sticky fear of loneliness of the unknown penetrated my thoughts.No, I'm not alone - I have a son.But this was a different kind of loneliness.
Alone can only be in the presence of free time, and I did not have it, and we must do everything to avoid in the future.What is it?Error in life?The transition from one state to another?Everything is so banal and simple.There was hope, there was one life, now another - everything is different.These feelings and thoughts not trust anyone.I do not like when I walk into the soul.I can not even cry.And maybe it would be easier if the tears welled up in his eyes?Now no one would see them.But the joy of this I do not get.
The only thing that I can try to do - completely disappear from her life and erase it from his.She was not happy with me in a past life, in any case, in recent years, though, I was happy.We are now going to live in a divided world.I will learn to forgive and forget the past, where we were together.Despair, pain, helplessness ... I clenched his fists painfully ...
I walked around the apartment and suddenly drew attention to the framed photos hanging on the wall in the hallway.I walked over, looking at them, and began to shoot those on which was Svetlana.I cleaned her past, her past, which she was.In the future, it is not.And I live in the past, I did not want to.
removing the pictures, I went into the bedroom and put them in a drawer.Throw I did not want - do not waste time on trifles.Then, when there is time, take along with her things.If it is necessary, it will take the mother and not - throw itself.
Outside, in the rays of the setting sun began the evening with his twilight and penumbra.Going into the kitchen, I heard the sound of the door opening.Came son.He shouted from the doorway:
- there want.
- Sit down.Now that some considerations.Purely masculine dish - fried eggs will be?
son, while I was going to cook, went to his room, but before he reached the door, he stopped.I realized that he saw no pictures on the wall of some.Then it dawned on him that no photos of his mother.He turned and walked into the kitchen.I stood at the stove and cooked him dinner.
- Dad, what happened?- He said to me in the back, - Why you took photos of mom?
- Sit down at the table, I will try to explain to you all.
He went and sat down with his back to the window.I put before him a plate, pulled out of the fridge apple juice, poured a glass and put in front of him.Then he sat down opposite.I looked at him, not knowing where to start.But there was little choice.The son looked at me, not touching the food.
- I'll tell you like it is not picking up the fine words.I called mom.She said she did not come back to us.She will not live with us.I asked her not to bother us, do not call, do not remind yourself.I erased her number on your phone, and, as you see, took a photo.Perhaps I made haste and did emotionally, thinking for both of us, saying that did not call me or you.You are free to decide for itself, to communicate with her or not.Any is your choice, I'll take it.
I stopped, realizing that he needed time to feel, to understand what I said.Man's death - a great sorrow, and even a child eventually realizes irretrievable loss.But the care of a living person - this is a heavy burden for the memory.Knowing that a person is alive, somewhere walks, sad, laughing, but not with you.
memory can sometimes selectively control the known image, even by analogy to someone with some experience.And in that moment of it can not escape.These moments do not banish the memory.The only cure - it is not to pay attention, not to succumb to the memoirs, and skip past him, as the image of a passerby, that for some time kept, but quickly extinguished.So here.But I, a grown man.And he's only - and maybe longer?- fifteen.All this flashed through my head.
I did not ask his son just looked past him, out the window at the fading evening, waiting for his reaction.I had no idea that he is now in his head.And then he asked me, did not express an opinion, assumption, namely the question that I never expected from him.
- I can not answer you this question clear.I can only say my opinion.
- I'll tell you as an adult.If you do not understand now, you will understand with time.Each of us has its own advantages and disadvantages.We often do not see a downside, but by living with others and see their weaknesses.We put up with them, but try to pay less attention to them as long as the merits outweigh.
When the shift occurs in the negative, it becomes more difficult to live.Displacement can occur for various reasons, accidents.Even outside.For example, a meeting with a man who has drawbacks in our opinion less.And then we involuntarily, unintentionally begin to compare.If you can overcome this negativity in itself, which can be influenced by past events of life together, it all comes back to positive.Not all succeed, and sometimes do not want to.Here are all individually ...
- It is generally, and in our case?- Sergei interrupted me.
- There is such a word - love.What is it, no one can explain.Yes, and it is not necessary.Everyone understands in his own way.This is an inexplicable feeling attracted to another person, regardless of his personal qualities.My mother fell in love with another man.Perhaps her feelings are so strong that she decided to take such an action.I do not think that it was easy to her, and, first and foremost, because of you.
I do not believe that a man can love in my life several times.Most love.But this is my opinion.Perhaps my mother thought he loved me.We lived peacefully with their joys and sorrows.She was happy in his own way with us.But, obviously, she met another man, perhaps not immediately, I realized that everything that happened between us is not love, but love - this is her now.Such questions can not be solved overnight.But in the end she decided as happened.
- You know him?
- No.And I do not want to know.Why do I need it?To see, he is better than me?I do not feel worse than him.If the mother decided otherwise, it is her own business.I'm just different.And it is better to him.
- And you do not want to fight?
- Son!During that fight?For dislike of another person?Imagine, I did something convinced, and she came back.I can not refer to it as before.Izmuchal I thought, what she thinks about it.Yes, just not be able to live longer still.Someone could, I - no.
- And how do you feel?
- say bad - it means nothing to say.She did, of course, very hurt.I need to go through the pain and, believe me, I will survive.Life does not end there, as banal as it may sound.I do not want to see her and talk.We are now strangers.As for you, you decide yourself how to talk to you.On you for it, I will not be offended.The only thing to ask, if you talk, I do not need to talk about it, at least in the near future.Time will pass and all will be delayed.
- Dad, you're not old.And how will you live?
- Obviously, a new look at the world around us.If you mean a meeting with a woman, I do not throw myself into the abyss - I have been ill.I will not tell you either "yes" or "no", because they do not know what will happen next.Maybe someday I meet a woman with whom I want to live.But I can promise you that as long as we live together with you, and yet you will not have my family, I will take into account your opinion.People live under the same roof should be able to.So, accidents will not happen.
- Do not worry about me.Stupidity is not done.It will continue as long as I do not know, but of course, and I hurt.
- It's good that you do not jump to conclusions.Over time, all lined up.And you do not need to shift our relationship to ourselves.I ask you: if something is wrong, or it will be difficult, you appealed to me.I can not promise that all will understand, but try to understand you, that's for sure.You and I are left - to trust each other, or what our life together would be ?!Good?
- Let's try it, every man for himself, to digest what has happened, and then, if need be, we will discuss.Agreed?
- You so did not eat.
- no longer want.
- Too true.What food immediately.You will not?Exactly?
- A juice?I decided to make coffee yourself.Surf yet.
- Do you want a sleepless night?That's all.I did not mean to offend you.Good luck.