Mother-in-law and son in law : eternal war ?

If you think that only here in Russia about the relationship mother-in-law and anecdotes and incredible stories stack up, you are wrong - it is present in all countries, and, reality is sometimes even more impressive than the invented history.

Here, you will agree, this is a phenomenon: live two adults, cultural, educated, educated person.And in an inadequate respect for others were not seen, that is, it is able to build their relationships with other people.But as soon as they move into a new quality, becoming the mother-in-law and how something happens, and in the best case, their relationship - cold hostility.

contradictions in the relations laid down initially, because mother-in-law and son - these are people who have a different floor, a large difference in age, tastes, habits, opinions, different life experiences, occupation, outlook on life and values ​​... But immediatelyreservation - there are Tiffany, managed to avoid becoming a caricature character and living with their zyatyami in peace, h

armony and mutual respect.So, is it possible?But what makes two people to bring their relationship from hostility to hatred?

wife's mother in-law was originally seen as a "burden" to his wife, the source of all problems and troubles, instigator of quarrels and insults.Even if she lives far away and with a young family is seen infrequently, it is still its influence on the relationship between his wife and the young is considered to be too strong and malicious.Naturally, the mother-in-law thinks otherwise, believing their advice and intervention in family affairs and helpful daughter going good.But what, really?we can not expect objectivity in the response to this question.

Sometimes the reason is complex relationship mother-in-law, and is the existing relationship of mother and daughter in the infantile attachment to the mother and daughter's reluctance to get rid of this dependence.Then the young wife on every occasion really appeals to her mother, and she, in turn, raises the breast genuinely to protect their child's interests and interfere in the affairs of all, trying to establish a familiar way for her.What is annoying in-law - is indisputable.Who would like, when someone runs in his family ?!

knowingly biased attitude-in-law to his mother there, and when he in a relationship with her own mother, had serious problems.Everything from childhood, of resentment and frustration that caused him the mother transferred to the wife's mother.It happens so that the infantile men, especially those who are raising a mother without a father, comparing his mother begins with the mother, and, most often, these comparisons are not in favor of the latter, and the irritation causes absolutely everything - from voice tocooked meal.There could try - do not try, but to the soul of the mother-in-law is extremely difficult, especially if his mother also does not leave his young family attention.

And, perhaps, the most frequent rejection mother-in occurs when a man can not help projecting his displeasure at her wife.Considering the mother-daughter guilty of all the shortcomings, son and asks her for all the frustration experienced by from his wife, bringing thus the aggressive thrust of his wife with her mother.

In all these cases, the mother-in-law pays, figuratively speaking, into other people's accounts.And however long it tried to please, no matter how good did not try to be, it still does not work at it.In such cases, only be able to judge the time.It can take years before in-law realizes that the mother-in-law not only does not interfere with family relationships of children, but does not try to impose their advice and participation in the affairs.But always readily responds to the requests without requiring gratitude.

Then the time will smooth out the contradictions, and the relationship will be smooth, respectful and calm.But for this, of course, you need a lot of patience, common sense and, of course, a great love for children, the desire to see them happy, no matter how hurt your own self-esteem by undeserved insults.

If the mother-like daughter's choice, then everything is much easier - she will go to meet and try to establish a reasonable relationship.But if not-in-law liked, and his relationship to his wife is poor, then there is definitely a good not wait.And if here is added and severe, the reluctance to make any concessions, then the image of the mother in law jokes may seem white and fluffy in comparison to what can a mother wanting to protect her daughter from poor choices and sorrows of family life.

But in this confrontation involves two more characters - a young wife and father in law, that is, a daughter.As for the test, if it is available, usually in the mother-in relationship with his son is trying not to go, and to negotiate the two men is always easier, especially if they will have similar hobbies - garage, fishing, football, etc.

A.Now the daughter is often caught in the middle - between the mother and her husband.On both sides expressed her claims, two native human constantly forced her to choose between them.And, of course, that everyone is happy never.Worst of all, these people are her family, her mother and her husband, do not realize how painful for his wife and daughter all the time to be a buffer between them, smooth out the contradictions, trying to establish contacts and to extinguish quarrels and discontent.In particularly critical situations neurosis is provided to it.

To counter the mother-in-law, and is a huge number of reasons.How to build relationships, making them at least calm conversation for next time.One thing is clear: the basis for good relations between people is respect for other people's opinions, attitudes and principles of others, not to impose their own views and the desire to meet.When mutual desire-in-law and mother in law, with the help of other family members can build on this good-hearted attitude.And it is so important to the happiness and well-being!