Stepfather for my son

« I would like to arrange his life.Tired of being alone.And man is loving, and I liked it.But how to be with my son - they did not get the contact ».

This and similar messages arrive in the log response.And understand anxiety of mothers who are trying to choose between personal happiness and the happiness of your child, to reconcile the children's senses and to convince to take the house, the family of the new, the unknown man.

Of course, the solution to this problem depends on you and on your chosen.Your little family is formed, has its own traditions, therefore, come to the house, your husband should find a common interest with the child.Often it is not easy to do, especially if the child has a sense of jealousy and unwillingness to share the love of a mother to someone else.Your son will defend their interests, their territories of all the forces.And only you know your child will be able to help.

Tell your husband about the interests and hobbies son, advise them to grasp, perhaps, somehow partici

pate, for example, to buy a new copy of the machines in the collection for his son.For the first time the stepfather will need a lot of patience and perseverance, because to him, the adult, the child will have to accept the rules of the game, but always sincere, without flirting.

Make sure that your child's way of life has not changed with the arrival of the family of his stepfather.If you've taken of his friends, read a bedtime story or checked lessons, try to keep the old traditions.In the event that there are any obstacles, talk with your child, set a different time, when his friends may come to visit, but in no case do not dismiss him, pleading cases.

Of course, your child will be jealous of you to her husband, and this is understandable: before you belonged to him completely, and now your attention and love have to share.Be considerate, do not show feelings in front of the child, on the contrary, give him attention, show interest in his affairs.And try to diversify the entertainment, such as a family arrange a trip to nature, go to the circus or the zoo.

Sometimes a trifle, for example together to watch a movie or transmission, he loves your child, or step-father to your son comes to football.But it is important to talk with your child, and you and your husband were interested in his affairs, talked about his.You may want to reduce the child's stepfather to work for him to see how colleagues refer to the new member of your family.

Be especially careful with penalties.As long as the stepfather did not win the full trust of your child, it is in any case should not punish him!Moreover, do not change the methods of punishment on the advice of her husband.Otherwise, the child will have a psychological trauma, and then win the trust would be extremely difficult.

And yet, your husband is not necessary to talk to the child about his father.And the mother is not necessary to oppose his father's stepfather, stepfather even if a hundred times better.And no need to suggest to the child that you have brought to it a new pope.My father always remains the father, and you have to explain that you have difficulty one that met a good man, you want to live together.

If your new husband loves you, he would get patience with your help to win over your children.And if not ... then you think, and the decision to take you too.But, if a person does not like your son, it's unlikely you'll be happy with him.