Pro Energy Vampires Much has been said, even the tips are to avoid contact with them, they do not let themselves be manipulated to protect themselves from stress and spoiled the mood.But what do the children if the parents are vampires?You think it does not happen?Look around you - how much you want!It is possible that you yourself are those, though I never thought about it.
explain and understand this phenomenon can be difficult, but here's an example of my friend made such a strong impression on me that I began to carefully keep track of their contacts with the adult daughter.Irina (the name of my friend) lives with his mother.Family life, Irina did not work, and I suspect that there her mother played an important role.
Each of my meeting with Irina necessarily accompanied by her stories about the relationship with Anna D. - mum.According to Irina, and on my own impressions, Anna D. - a real vampire!
Of course, it does not bites at night in her daughter's neck and sucking out her blood liters, but
I myself once had to observe how completely from scratch - because the kitchen rags - broke wild scandal, although Irina did not try to answer, to reassure mom, even embarrass the fact that in-house guests.But Anna D. was not appeased, and, forgetting the cloth, which either threw Irina, or, conversely, not thrown, recalled and expressed all the wrongs, real and imaginary, until brought Irene to tears, and she retired to her room tobottle of heart drops and the words that her daughter was dying to.
And because Irina is no exception - in her position many, many women.Many years ago, my colleague went to the hospital with nervous exhaustion, to which it also brought my mother.A colleague complained that by quarreling with his mother was only possible to run into the street, because she went on the heels of the apartment and said, choosing the most offensive words, accused in all existing and non-existent sins.At that time, while my mother was alive, the husband of colleagues tried to come home only to sleep, even on weekends sat out on the job, though it, for some reason, my mother tried not to touch.
And this is all that the two families a decent prosperity, good conditions for the lives of parents and respectful to them, although the latter is very difficult to maintain.
But my friends in the trouble not alone.Psychologists say that some parents are becoming a real punishment for their own children.They constantly accuse children of all mortal sins, the first of which - selfishness.In addition, parents are not recognizing the right of children to adults any manifestation of independence, roughly and unceremoniously interfering in their personal lives.The worst thing is that the parents are close friends, know all the "hot spots" and click on them, and this caused an explosion of emotion and response.
Where does this parent vampirism?In many families, all personal interests and things come to an end with the birth of the child: from now husband and wife is so subordinate his life to the interests of the beloved child, that they forget about everything else.Of course, a child in need of care, love and affection, but not at the sacrifice!Parents make their own choice, give the child's upbringing, for the sake of its interests vigorously all that is possible, all my life subordinate to the good of the child, and then ... require you to pay on these accounts!
In addition, violent "extension of childhood" of the child - a way to exercise control over it and the power, because if we accept growing up the daughter or son, you need to take and the right to autonomy and decision-making.Adult children will go to their adult lives, and parents are left alone in the emptiness in his life, that with the departure of a child loses all meaning, so long the most sense was only in your favorite Chad.And it is for parents just scared ...
But interference with adult children can not only aggravate relations to the limit, but also cause a complete rupture of relations in general.If you think about it, it may be, parents will find the strength to keep themselves and not to bring the beloved only child to the point that it will no longer anything to do with her own mother, tired and exhausted to such an extent that it can overcome the love and respect, and a sense ofdebt, and human judgment.
you ever thought about what the parents are making conversations and accusations of ingratitude, reproaches, scenes and scandals?But the fact of the very emotional nourishment that parents are sure to get, moving children out of balance, that is, an energy vampirism, which we mentioned at the beginning of this article.Moreover, parents are consuming energy unconsciously, of course, not wanting the children of evil, but weakens them how much more fabulous vampires.
What can you do to protect yourself?Do not argue with their parents, will learn something to turn a deaf ear, and, of course, agree with them, agree with everything you say, with accusations of selfishness, ingratitude, and other "sins", too.No explosion of emotions and resistance may discourage provoke you.
Most often parents put in a position to blame the children already for the mere fact of birth and the parental love and care they gave.Many probably familiar with this phrase: "We have given you all my life, all of us have done for you, and you ...?!" Maybe it's time to figure out what exactly is your fault?Understand for themselves and give parents a clear answer to this charge - you are doing your duty, and do not feel guilty.
particularly dangerous blackmail on the part of parents.How would they have neither tortured, we are still experiencing, and are worried about them, about their health.But allow yourself to blackmail is not worth it, otherwise you will never get rid never fear for every word, from a sense of guilt for some unknown reason.Do not argue with her parents, who say: "If you will do so, I will die if you marry him, I will break the heart" and so on ... Maybe it's cruel, but do not spoil your life, going on aboutselfish demands of your parents.
defend, try to protect yourself and your family from the irrepressible parental vampirism, but not to keep evil parents, forgive them in advance, and with all my heart.Whatever they are - these are the people close to you!