Remembering his childhood ...

Once accepted that childhood all people remember with gratitude, considering it to be the happiest time in my life.Well, another would be - no problems, everything is interesting, everything love and care about you.But the older you get, the more you have responsibilities, worries and problems ... the more you lay hopes on the parents, and the scary look into the future.

often interview people who have made a brilliant career, have achieved a lot in life, they say that are required by this understanding and support from the parents, who loved and believed in them and helped in all endeavors, what is called, provided the rear.

Some argue that all parents love their children, but not every destiny is going well.Psychologists respond to these objections, there is little to love a child, must be able to do it no harm.It is especially important to take good care of him, even if you are angry, and the child is guilty.

How often can hear the mother says to the kid: "You will not listen - I will not love you

!" Of course, she does not think so, just consider that these words, she will force a child to be obedient, to change their behavior.And all this can be said differently, for example: "I do not like the way you're behaving, so try to understand this and not do that again!" But the child hears another: "You are bad, you are not worthy of anyone's love, includingand parents! »

and he is suffering, fear, feeling insecure and unhappy.Under no circumstances should you tell the children that you do not love or do not love - that they would not have done!The child needs to grow and believe that parental love is unconditional, and that would not have happened, mom and dad will protect his help, will save from any danger, would close in a difficult moment.

All children are different nervous system, temperament and inclinations.There is a very emotional and vulnerable children, and the idea that parents do not love them, may be detrimental to the child's mind.Children often begin to experience the fear of life under the pressure of parents, they are literally held hostage ambitious parenting plans.

the best of intentions, many parents require their children of the success that it is not always afford, and this causes the child to live in constant tension.They want not only the well-studied, but also the time to show their talents in different directions -. In sports, music, etc. And if the child does not have time, can not, does not match, it blamed for the failures.

But this perceived good luck for granted, that is, no matter how much the child tried, it still can not be praised, they will not be proud, but rather put more new challenges.

What if you want to develop children's talents, not to let anything get lost and teach the child to realize themselves fully?For starters need to objectively evaluate his ability and do not forget that childhood is still - golden time of carelessness.This means that in addition to labor, must be and recreation.It is important for the child to play and socialize with their peers, read interesting books, watch a movie, work on the computer and so on. And just be lazy, sometimes you need a break, too.

In addition, all notes, and in general, the criticism should be constructive and conducive to forward movement, development.But some parents do not think about it, and after swearing the child begins to quietly hate school, music, books ... and himself!From what and how to tell parents how they evaluate the actions, achievements and failures of the child depends on who and how it will grow.

Once Doris Law Nolte, American psychologist, wrote a wonderful reminder for parents.She was for many years, but every word in it has not lost its relevance.

• If the child is surrounded by criticism - he learns to blame.

• If a child sees hostility - he learns to fight.

• If the child ridicule - he learns to be shy.

• If a child is constantly shamed - he learns to feel guilty.

• If the child is surrounded by tolerance - he learns to be tolerant.

• If the child's support - he learns confidence.

• If a child is praised - he learns to appreciate others.

• If a child cost true - he learns justice.

• If the child feels safe - he learns to trust.

• If the child's favor - he learns to like himself.

• If the child is received and treated kindly with him - he learns to find love in this world.

And here's another scene that I witnessed.In the park Mom scolded little daughter.Annoyed she scolded: "You are disgusting behaving!I'm here tomorrow will come to kindergarten early and choose yourself another daughter, obedient and good "Baby intensely looked at my mother, then said:" Later all Tanya is taken, and it is still a naughty than I ... "But my mother was not appeased:" Nothing,I come before anyone else, and I will finally be a good daughter "The girl did not survive, first cry, then he threw in the mother toy, and then started a real hysteria - a child choking to cry, and my mother was no longer pleased her educational methods.Somehow I managed to calm the tears dried up, but that's what should stay in her heart, only time will tell ...