Do you remember growing up your child?Well, when the world opened before him in all its glory, and he was trying to find it myself ??Remember his first "I did!"?Remember how he carefully argued, and you, and myself, that he was "big" and all can ??As learned to do something for the first time?
I remember ... my daughter, looking at me, wanted to learn to wash.In the middle of the kitchen stood on a stool with a bowl of water, and a little girl desperately rubbing tiptoes, trying to bring them to the absolute whiteness.I looked at it all with affection and patience, but did not interfere.When the socks are washed off, long praised it, and then ... then laundered baby perestirala all her clothes, washed the kitchen, fully splashed with water, but never made it clear that from her laundry more harm than good.
How many such cases were then - do not tell.And every time I carefully gave the child the opportunity to do something, to make a decision to bring it started to end.Even now I wonder why I have had
growing baby - his growing concerns and problems.It is impossible task?Well, yes ... easy to say - "let me decide" than follow the course of his thoughts and figure out where he had made a mistake.But I never heard the words - "Mom, do I did not have time, could not."No, no, do not misunderstand, assist, teach, support is necessary, I do not know.I mean, it is not necessary to replace the child anything, to do his work for him since childhood.By the very simple reason - the child gets used to the fact that he was always a mother, who will finish, will see, buy, protect, cut off from all the worries and problems.
have a small child have the desire and the need to work ... It's just interesting.But he surprisingly quickly understands that playing, walking, watching TV more enjoyable than to clean up his room, doing homework or perform errands parents.And your scandals over the fact that he had something did not fulfilled, forgot, not given value, does not help - at a certain age be sure to stumble upon a wall of misunderstanding, resistance or anger.And the saddest thing in this - the fact that you did it to him yourself.I objected to - the child can not take away his childhood, he was little, he wanted to walk, play, and so on ... The argument is as follows: most do faster, easier, and in general - sorry baby!
Here are your children are grown.They have adult responsibilities ??They are also full-fledged members of the family with all the ensuing consequences.And if you can, hand on heart, say that it happened that your child will have to live alone, he does not end up being a gastritis on the wrong diet, be able to earn money and to dispose of them properly distinguish good from bad, and in general - is not lost inthis cruel world of adults?You hope that it will come by itself ??And why are you looking at it?
My friend sent his daughter to study in Moscow.The girl could not live in a dorm - neighbor strongly objected to her habit to throw everything and everywhere, and the inability to serve itself.They took her to an apartment, but there was a girl could not live - you need the whole week to take care of food, about some things in order.Every weekend, she came home in tears and even more tears returning back to school.Son of my neighbor was expelled from a prestigious university after six months because, to escape to freedom, the boy could not cope with it and at the school chose a fun and wild life.
His children we raise not for themselves, they are not our toys.And with them we will not close from birth to old age - alas, life is transient.As will be live-incompetent daughter further, when a wife, daughter, mother ??And will build a life future husband and father, he lives by the consumer on the neck of the parents in 20 years, and begging pocket money rather than earn them?
Protecting children from all problems and concerns, we are spoiling them and create them huge, sometimes insurmountable problems in the future.And it was our fault that they retreat from the difficulties encountered hardly with them that are too lazy to look into the future.I'm not saying that this is our future with you that once we will have to count on their help and support in old age.
One friend of mine almost fondly talks about his twenty-two son: "I have it so childish!"I read in the encyclopaedia - "infantilism: children - preservation in adult physical and mental traits peculiar to children's age, psychological - psychological make-up feature of the person, reveals features characteristic of an earlier age: emotional instability, immature judgment, moodiness and subjugate."
You say that children have grown up, and all the errors have been committed?It is said that the first child - the last doll and the first grandson - first child.