Very often, parents have "two truths".One for himself, the other - for children.What allows parents themselves - is strictly forbidden to do for children.Moreover, they often do not allow to speak and even so, all the more as something to criticize or evaluate the actions of adults, or to intervene in serious cases large and care.
Why is this happening?Is it correct?And why such a parent's position may ultimately lead?Let's start with the reasons for which such parental attitudes somewhat, and the most common of them - a desire so to maintain its credibility.And that is, they say, it turns out - the children criticize their parents, they are taken to judge !?
But the child - the same member of the family, my father and my mother, only a little more and not having a life experience.And where is it to gain this experience, if the parents are not considered him, not to involve him in the discussion of family concerns and plans, not to teach him to talk, to weigh and make decisions?
It is important that
If your child is interested in all the issues and problems of the family, it is very good, and the need to encourage this interest.But more important to teach children not only to show and to voice their discontent, criticism, wishes and concerns, but also to try to find solutions to problems - and their own, and family, if he tries to discuss them.At the same time patient and give your child the opportunity to enjoy their own victories and overcome their failures.Do not rush to his aid when he is not asking about it, do not meddle directly with the advice and willing to do everything ourselves, but rather discuss all together and move it to the independent decision.The child will be proud of his victory, and this is a significant contribution to the education of his independence and responsibility.
For many adults, is characterized by two behavioral models: one for home, family, and the other - for the people around them.It turns out that in a society with foreign parents behave with restraint, politely, according to etiquette, and alone with each other may well afford frivolous and incorrect statements about the relatives familiar.Or when communicating with strangers parents are always in the form of neatly dressed, combed, and at home relaxing on the full program.At the same time all the children's parents are taught to be honest, polite, cultural and so on.
But young children are not able to digest mismatch parental guidance to their deeds.Why not tell Aunt "fool", if the mother so she constantly says ?!And for that kid who announced in the presence of my mother's guests this view, referring to her just punished?
Parents are angry - what now can not communicate openly and even at home?Of course you can, but not in the presence of the children!The underestimation of the child's mind, mindfulness can lead not only to what your child ever will put you in a bad light in front of relatives and friends, but also to a shift in the mind of the child concepts "can and can not", "good and bad".
However, once introduced into a similar situation, most parents begin to beware express their revelations with children.The only thing that should be taken into account - to punish children for outstanding domestic secrets should not be.You can simply explain to the children that what is spoken in the home, in the family, do not talk to strangers.
No one is immune from mistakes - they make both adults and children.Therefore, if the little man alone sees something that seems wrong to him, trying to talk, help the father and mother, and tells you about it, you should be glad that he does not leave indifferent all business and family care.And the task of parents with all the tact, care and attention to guide children, and teach them by example, and the example of others in this ability to navigate such a difficult life.