hard to find a family, which would not have happened quarrels.Especially often it happens in families where live two or even three generations together.We quarrel with loved ones, hurt them and hurt themselves, experience and torture, despair, and do not find the exit.
But rarely, people think, why establish such a complicated relationship.Most people are looking for someone to blame in any particular quarrel, rather than trying to figure out who is responsible for the communication problems who suffer from them more, and who, nevertheless, I have to deal with them.
liability problem of concern to many in the family.And if we somehow understand and accept human responsibility to the society, the family relationships often shift it to anyone, not just themselves.Or, on the contrary, we blame all the troubles of his own and falls into a depression from a hopelessness.
From what depends primarily on the sense of responsibility?Psychologists say that in many ways - from the education received in the fami
One of the most important child-rearing tasks is precisely to teach the child to distinguish between "good" and "bad", "possible" and "impossible", most assess their actions, and thus accustom to be responsible andtheir deeds, and for his words.
just always there, even the understanding of the importance of this task, forcing parents to make an effort to spend time trying to consciously cultivate a sense of responsibility in children?
Parents often rush to extremes: protecting children from all sorts of troubles and worries, they take on more responsibility than is necessary, for example, strictly controlling and regulating their studies, choice of friends, daily routine, leisure time and so on.
Sometimes something else: Considering that the child should share all the concerns and problems of the family, the parents, not taking into account his age, throw at it too many responsibilities, for example, continuously monitor the younger brothers and sisters, to carry out a number of home affairs and so forth child.It is currently provided in troubled families with drinking parents who do not care about children.
But the child - only a child, and therefore a measure of responsibility for it should be selected by age and by force, taking into account the fact that he, like anyone, you need the free time and the opportunity to spend it as interesting as you want.
And in the first and second approach to education and to the definition of a measure of responsibility for the children, they have serious problems in making independent decisions may arise in the future.If the child is limited independence, deciding everything for him, and for him, already an adult, he will be indecisive and helpless, when he will have to something to respond on their own, for example, at work or in the family.In search of a partner such people tend to choose as a life partner or a landmark of a strong man, who guide and give his life.
A child accustomed from childhood to count only on themselves, grow into an authoritarian personality, which leads not only their lives, but also the people around them, often without regard to their opinion, manages, monitors and regulates their lives, as well asused to do with younger brothers or sisters.
Brought up in different circumstances, people, and behave differently in different life collisions and conflicts.Some are looking for the guilty, shifting the blame for the problems to anyone and anything: a. The circumstances surrounding, fate, etc. Others do not look for the guilty, and in difficult situations, solve the question that they themselves can do to change the situation.
Research and the findings of psychologists say that the more successful in life are the people who recognize their own responsibility.Those who prefer to believe that life events are taking place at the behest of fate or circumstance, more insecure, suspicious and anxious, dependent on the opinions of others.
Now imagine that the two half-hearted, and who can not make decisions, a person start a family, or, on the contrary, the two strong personalities, who are used to decide my life, trying to get along under one roof.But even with them, live with their aging parents ideas about life and growing children, who absorb like a sponge, everything that happens in the family.
What to do in such a situation?At least, not to panic and not to give up, and to determine the extent of liability of each member of the family and his own, in the first place.And, on this basis, to build relations not vzvalivaya neither himself nor anyone else the entire load of problems.
We need to think and possibly revise his views on the relationship with the children, it is reasonable in terms of training their sense of responsibility and independence.And, of course, should be treated gently and indulgently to aging parents, because with age in people changing perception of the world, and they are not always adequate to their actions and evaluations.
If relationships with parents so complex that it seriously complicates your life is threatened, and even your family, you should find an option of separation, even if it initially seems complicated and almost unreal.If you can not handle the relationship to the state acceptable, it is important, first of all, think about the interests and mental health of children.
And, in any conflict, and learn to look for the fault.It is clear that to admit that you yourself are to blame for their troubles, is not always so simple, but it gives us independence from other people's decisions and the ability to re-build the relationship, already taking into account the errors made.And also to make timely changes to the treatment of children to grow their people accountable and independent.
Someone wise said: "I want to do something about looking for opportunities who does not want - the reasons."If you want to achieve peace and mutual understanding with people around you, then you will succeed!