Jealousy - it is a feeling that is capable of not only poison the life of a man, but sometimes destroy the seemingly strong relationships and couples.To settle in human jealousy covers other feelings, and love nothing remains.
Dictionary of Russian language DNUshakov word "jealousy" gives the following description: torment suspicions in someone less love, less devotion.Of course, no one would like to feel in romantic relationships are depressing emotions and experiences.Of course, sometimes the feeling of jealousy and rightly called frivolous behavior of a partner in relation to the people around.But often suffer from pathological jealous is baseless and unfounded jealousy.
What is jealousy
Naturally, jealousy attacks, flowing into aggression, is not other than the inappropriate behavior provoked by self-doubt, confidence and distrust your partner.The woman who is experiencing similar feelings, can manifest them in the form of tears and crying.Man can not do that, so he will be jealous differently.It will:
- scandal.Man is able to throw a groundless scandal, to the improvement of voice, shouting, swearing.This behavior - it's simply a way to throw out the accumulated aggression, nervousness and disturbing feelings.
- to use physical force."Beating means love" - a favorite excuse of the weak and insecure women poisoned by despots male.Under no circumstances do not allow this attitude to yourself by any person, even the most beloved.Just jealous despot, can not explain to raise his hand to his woman.
- Silence.Others, however, instead of fuss and explained his wife choose tactics of total silence, that is avoided intercourse with his wife in the walls of the house in an attempt to hint to her about your feelings and experiences.
- Monitor.Some insecure by men completely dominate a woman.Such a husband forbids his wife to go out to the store or to visit alone.He must everywhere accompany her and not let go of a single step, to see and hear all those with whom she spoke, especially the opposite sex.
- recheck.Because of his confidence, he will be forced to constantly recheck favorite: sms read it, check the incoming and outgoing calls, to require passwords on accounts in social networks, etc.
- Deny all that is possible.That is, everything that can be nice to the woman to wear tight-fitting dresses, short skirts, change her hair to a more stylish, lipstick bright lipstick, use perfume, etc.
Women who are tired of such improper behavior of the partner, will be all sorts of ways to try to determine the cause of her husband's negative emotions.
reasons of jealousy
- own feelings.Marrying the man is automatically recorded new husband in the property list.So now he is extremely jealous will apply to any even the slightest possibility of losing a particle that belongs exclusively to him.
- distrust.Perhaps the emergence of this feeling was unreasonable, but sometimes a woman alone can throw occasion favorite doubt her devotion and loyalty, actively flirting with other men, leading a frank conversation with former classmates or happily changing partners for dancing at a party, where she came with her secondhalf.
- zakompleksovannost.Jealousy because of this feeling arises only insecure personalities.Notorious man considers a great success that he was lucky to marry a wonderful woman.Naturally, he will be afraid of losing it, because it does not believe that he could ever again so lucky.
- Fantasy.Many couples broke up only because of the violent fantasies on the part of one of the parties.Perhaps there was no reason for this, but the man in his head imagined and fantasized that his wife could change or at least planned or just wanted it.
- shadows from the past.Accounts in social networks help to find not only your friends and acquaintances, but also among former classmates, her first child and adolescent love, etc.And communication with once your loved one with your current spouse can cause severe jealousy, he can begin to think about what you secretly want to renew those past relationships.
- Flirt.Every woman wants to feel desirable and sexy, to feel the glances of men.Therefore, we sometimes resort to an innocent flirtation, to again feel young, perky and attractive.But an innocent flirtation with our party in the eyes of the jealous can appear a clear allusion to the betrayal.
- Lack of attention.If previously gentle and considerate wife devoted much time to her husband, telling him compliments, embracing and kissing him on the track, suddenly ceased to do so, it may become apparent zeal for the cause of her husband.And no matter what, perhaps, a woman tired of the household, was tortured to withdraw and bring the child to school, in clubs, but also need to work.She just did not have enough forces on the spouse, and does this not mean that from the former ardent feelings was gone, just now the relationship with her hand slightly changed and took another look.
turns out that men are jealous in many ways, as there are various reasons for jealousy, because there are several kinds of feelings.Let us try to understand them, to understand exactly what type of encounter is jealous you.
Easy constant jealousy
This is harmless and can even be said a useful form of jealousy.The feeling of jealousy can not only spoil relations.Sometimes, because of this sense of relationship are adjusted on the contrary, improved feelings flare up with renewed vigor.Every woman wants her man a little jealous, but she did not think to leave him or change him.Such jealousy gives men an excuse every time to prove to his wife that he is better than the competition.The woman realizes that her beloved loves and appreciates, afraid to lose, and a man is satisfied with the fact that his wife interested in other men.
If the first type of jealousy gives Relations surge and positive emotions, that exaggerated jealousy brings discord in the family.The husband begins to show more and more proprietary in nature, pointing to his wife, she was his.Some spineless ladies console themselves with the standard phrase: "Jealous, means love," without thinking about the fact that from that moment the love begins to fade away, and in its place comes the nervousness and aggression.
How to deal with a jealous husband
As soon as you notice the first signs of a serious jealousy on the part of her husband, should immediately start a fight with this situation.In the first place it is recommended to hold a frank conversation with his chosen one.Do not use any hints, men love straightforwardness and honesty.Therefore, openly and without insults tell him that unhappy with the situation, that you fully trust and count on reciprocity from him.Explain that excessive jealousy can not coexist with true love.
your actions and words should be aimed at improving self-spouse.After all, we have found that often jealousy dwells in the soul of man itself insecure.So you have to convince your loved one that he is the best for you.The easiest way to do this, let him sincere compliments, tell him that the best man for himself and his father for your child, you can not imagine.At times, this approach allows you to get rid of mistrust, and your relationship will return the love and trust.
course, jealous husband, a wife should constantly monitor themselves and their statements.Never in his presence no mention of his former men, do not tell even a school of love, because the husband is automatically compare yourself with men of your past.And as you remember them, then you are still warm tender feelings toward them, according to your jealous.Naturally, in his subconscious in this comparison it will play that will cause another bout of jealousy hypertrophied.
said that the best defense - attack.Perhaps this is the only way to combat a pathological jealousy in your case.On the criticisms and complaints from the faithful answer your mutual claims and jealousy.It is possible that it will give a reason to the man to look at the situation from the other side and realize that his negative thoughts and emotions were caused by violent imagination and nothing else.
If none of the options did not help in your situation, perhaps you should seek professional help from a family psychologist.But in any case, do not let the situation take its course, because to cross the boundaries of a harmless and useful for pathological jealousy is quite simple, and the back is almost impossible.Do not let your marriage become a marriage is in the worst sense of the word.